Manhattan Dreams ✅

18. Desires

"Your father isn't coming back."

"I honestly don't even know who you are anymore."

"We thought it best to hit the road early. See you in a few weeks."

My eyes pop open and I feel the tears running down my face just as they did last night except tonight there's no one there beside me to catch them. My heart falls and I feel a new batch of tears stirring up inside me as I realize what I did.

I left Josh.

Everyone in my life leaves me so I did the first thing I thought of, the thing I'm used to. When things get hard people in my life run and that's exactly what I did.

I don't want to run.

I climb out of bed, wipe my tears and slip into a pair of flats before grabbing my room key and sneaking out. I head down the hall to Josh's room and pray that he answers. I take a deep breath before bringing my hand up to knock on his door.

Seconds pass and it feels like hours until the door finally opens and Josh is standing on the other side looking heartbroken. "Maya" he says softly, as if in disbelief that I'm standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" I ask, looking up and down the hall hoping we don't get caught.

"Yea" he says, stepping out of the way to let me in. "What's up gorgeous?" he asks curiously as he shuts his door behind me.

"I'm sorry" I say immediately.

"Sorry for what? I'm the one who pushed."

"No" I shake my head. "You wanted to be there for me and I pushed you away. You remember I told you that everyone leaves me? How my dad left, how Zay left, now it feels like I'm losing my parents" I cry making Josh take a few uncertain steps towards me, "I just" I fall apart and he finally closes the distance between us, pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.

"Don't cry" he says softly. "It's okay" he assures me, rubbing my back soothingly. "I'm here" he says softly making my heart swell.

"I pushed you away, I'm used to everyone leaving and I just. I guess I feel like I have to push back to protect myself."

"Maya, baby I'm not going anywhere" he assures me, kissing the top of my head as he squeezes me tighter. "I love you."

"I love you too" I whisper, getting lost in his embrace. "Can I stay?"

"Of course you can stay" he says softly, "come on, let's get some sleep."

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I'm beyond glad it's Sunday when my eyes flutter open the next morning. No classes, no parents, a day all to myself. I feel Josh's arms wrapped around me and his breath steady on my neck. I didn't care what my parents said, I knew that having Josh in my life helped keep my sanity.

"Morning" he whispers, kissing my neck.

"Good morning" I reply, a smile pulling at my lips involuntarily.

"You sleep okay?" he asks worriedly as I turn around in his arms to face him.

"Mhm" I nod, running my fingertips down his chest. "I sleep better here" I admit.

"Well you know you could sleep here more often" he replies lightly. "It's not like I don't enjoy having you here."

"I know" I sigh, "I like being with Riley though too."