ᴋᴍᴛᴛᴘ | ғᴀᴄᴋ

19 ☜

-finn-

saturday, December 27th, 2017.

i slipped up. I've been able to avoid everything for so long but last night, after Jack left, it really slapped me in the face. literally. the sting of my steve's hand hitting my face had never felt so chilling. when he hit me, i reacted... badly. i punched him in the face, so he decided to throw a bottle at me. of course, i deserved it. i provoked him while he was drunk, i shouldn't have done that.

now, i wear a thick, white bandage around my forearm. i know jack will ask what happened, this is why i cant show myself around him. I'm so utterly embarrassed, and i know he will think the worst.

i lifted myself out of bed, my arm stung with the pressure. suddenly, my phone lit up with a phone call from, none other than, jack. i wanted to click decline, but i answered and held the phone up to my ear.

"before you say anything, I'm outside. come out here and tell me what's going on." with that, he hung up. i shook my head and pounded on my desk with my fists in frustration. i opened my window and there he sat, on the roof, up against the wall. i backed away to let him in, he sat in his place for a couple more seconds before lifting himself up and jumping inside.

"I'm sorry i came over with no notice, but i need to know what's going on," Jack said, i knew he wasn't sorry, he was worried.

"nothing- it's complicated," i answered, he raised an eyebrow, "is it nothing, or is it complicated?" he asked, i sighed.

"both," i responded to his question, he seemed baffled, like he was surprised i answered. "finn- you haven't acted like this in, what feels like, forever. don't shut down on me again. this is what ruined us the first time," jack ridiculed, he was obviously upset.

"you're saying it was my fault-"I began, i took a deep breath, "my fault my father did that to me?"

"no, but you didn't have to shut me out," Jack sighed, he tried to grab my arm but i pulled it away. "please, don't do this again. I need you, finn," Jack pleaded, i studied his face, never have i felt so torn.

"everyone deals with things differently. what i needed was to be alone, you couldn't handle that,"I spoke in a monotone voice, trying not to cry. "what- i couldn't deal with you wanting space? no, no. what i couldn't deal with was what your dad did to you, how was i supposed to help you?" Jack asked whilst anger festered in my chest and sorrow stretched around my wrists like handcuffs.

"you could've been there for me! sure you didn't know what it felt like, but i needed you!" i screamed, i covered my mouth after i realized that my mom and step dad were home. i took a deep breath to calm myself down, this was the wrong time and place to fight jack.

"you couldn't handle what he did to me, i couldn't handle it either. i was breaking- on the verge of completely shattering. I needed you. that was not my fault," i said, Jack looked down at his feet, then back up at me.

"why haven't you responded to me since our 'conversation' last night?" Jack asked. i was hoping he would forget with this argument. "i was um- busy," i said, not breaking a sweat. this was believable.

jack reached out to me again, i pulled away. "why are you doing that?" he laughed, i nervously laughed too. he reached out once more and i backed up; i ran into my bed, i fell back onto the comforter. jack fell on top of me, he went to pin my arms down when he felt it.