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monday, february 14th, 2018.

-finn-

soon after jack left the hospital, a text from noah popped up on my phone, and i didnt know how to feel about it. i know it was wrong of me to go on that 'date' with jack today with not knowing what i want and all that, but i couldn't help myself. jack has always been my happy pill, my love, my bestfriend, and so much more.

noah🔆

noah: happy valentine's day, sunshine.

me: it's almost not valentine's day anymore.

noah: i know i'm a bit late, but i was doing something. trust me, it's all worth the wait.

me: oh?

noah: i'm on my way to the hospital, screw visiting hours.

me: i don't want you to get into any trouble.

noah: if i do, again, it will be worth it.

noah: i'll see you soon.

i set my phone down next to me with a sigh, i'm being selfish, so selfish. i've got these two boys in my life that mean so much to me, and i'm juggling them like they're my toys.

soon after my conversation with noah, he showed up in my hospital room, he must've been on his way over as he was texting me, his replies did seem a bit spaced out.

"i know your friends are the real loves of your life, so i thought it was wrong you weren't spending valentine's day with them," noah said as he walked in, and behind him came my closest friends, wyatt, millie, jaeden, but not jack.

"finn!" millie yelped as she ran over to me and hugged me, but not too tight because she didn't want to hurt me. jaeden and wyatt came over as well and joined in on the hugging.

noah stood to the side awkwardly, i mouthed a thank you to him, he smiled in response. when it got later, everyone left how they got in, which still confuses me, i don't understand how they all got in past visiting hours. noah stayed behind, he sat down at the end of my bed.

"how was your day?" he asked, inspecting my face, which still looked pretty messed up. "i've had better, but it wasn't the worst," i smiled, noah reached out his hand and grabbed mine, i wanted to pull away, but i didn't.

"it was your stepdad... wasn't it?" he asked as he lifted his other hand to my cheek, his thumb rubbed my skin carefully, as if it might shatter.
"uh- yea," i answered awkwardly.

"c'mon, i gotta show you something," he said with a smile on his face. noah helped me carefully lift myself out of the bed, he led me to a flight of stairs that led to the roof, which he carried me up.

once we got to the roof door, he opened it and i was engulfed by the beauty of the sky. i had only ever felt this beauty with jack. things change, grow, so quickly, you sometimes never even realize.

noah set me down so i could stand on my own, i spun around and gazed up, i looked at noah to see that he had his eyes on me. "you're amazing," he sighed, which made me smile.

"thank you," i said. i took each step carefully, my body is weak and beaten, so it's not safe to be out here like this, but it's so worth it, like noah said. "finn, i'm so glad i came here tonight, i'm so filled with joy that i could bring you up here and see you appreciate the stars like this. you deserve to be up there with them, y'know. you are the brightest star i know. you are the highlight of my days, you are the planets that fill the skies of my nights." i looked at him funny, he laughed. "ok- i just threw up in my mouth saying that but it's true. finn wolfhard, you are the most beautiful person i have ever met, inside and out. if you were a constellation, i would look foreword to finding you in the sky every night."

i felt my face begin to heat up, ive always loved when noah gets like this. noah has always been so good at making me feel like I'm the most special person. "why're you doing this?" I asked, but noah knew what I really meant. "Finn, I don't have an ulterior motive, I truly care about you and your happiness," he answered.

"It's getting pretty late, you should get home and i should get back to my room before anyone notices I'm gone," I said, noah nodded his head and helped me to my room and back into bed, but before leaving, he kissed my forehead once again.  "even if you don't think so, you deserve to feel good. that's why I did this." 

"goodnight, noah," I smiled as he walked out. "goodnight, Finn."

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