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Wednesday, January 19th, 2018.

-jack-

Wednesday morning, i haven't talked to finn since he left jaeden's house. when i got to school, the first thing i did was look for him, but he wasn't here. i went to calculus pretty worried, we have calculus together and still, the didn't show. i sat down in my desk, i had a hard time listening to mr.butler when all i could do was stare at finn's seat and wonder why he wasn't here.

when the school day was over, the first thing i did was ask wyatt. "wyatt!" i yelled, he turned around, smiled, and waved at me. "hey there shorty, where's my best friend?" he asked, i shrugged.

"i came over here to ask you the same thing," i said, wyatt looked like he was thinking, his eyebrows furrowed. "jack, you should go home. i'll check on him," he said, i nodded and left to go to my locker.

-wyatt-

i stepped out of my car and slammed the door shut, trying to prepare myself for whatever i could be walking in on. i knocked on the front door. nobody home... i tried the doorknob, it was unlocked. i crept inside and made my way to finn's room, silence filled the house.

i opened his door quietly, and there he was. he was curled up in a ball in a grey sweatshirt and black joggers. when i got closer, i noticed stains on his sleeves, dried up, dark stains. my heart dropped, i was stuck in place, i knew what i was getting myself into, pull it together, you can do this. i tip toed over to finn's bed and sat down, he jumped up when i placed a hand on his leg.

"noah i-!" he screamed before realizing it was me, darkness fell over his face as he laid back down into a ball. why noah? bad dream? "it's just me, finn, don't worry," i said in a hushed voice, i tried not to startle him. "could you please talk to me?" i asked. finn began to shake, when he sat up i noticed he was holding back tears.

"finn..." i didn't know what to say. what do you say to someone in this state? it's like i've lost my mojo, i haven't talked to him in this state for a while, and i kind of hoped i wouldn't have to, but with him being the way he is... i should've been smart enough to see the low probability.

finn looked up from his lap to my face as i reached over to turn on his bedside lamp, his eyes were bloodshot, he was pale and his hair disheveled.
"you're my best friend, and i care deeply about you. could you please let me know what's going on?" i asked, my tone still light and quiet. finn looked scared for a moment, he didn't break eye contact as he held out his arms which were covered by his stained sleeves.

"no..." i whispered, i slowly reached out to his arm, like asking for permission. he nodded his head, i carefully slid his sleeve up his arm until i got to what he'd done. the slits were on his upper forearm, and they made me sick to my stomach. deep, bloody, numerous. i looked back up at him, then back down to see his other arm, and it was worse. deeper, bleeding, and all over his upper forearm. all over.

i disconnected my gaze to look up at him again. i held my stomach, feeling sick, how could a person do that to them self, especially finn? he deserves so much more than this, he deserves complete happiness.

"i-i'm sorry," he choked out, still trying to hold back tears. i wrapped my arms around him to bring him into my embrace, i could feel him shiver to my touch.
"what um... caused you to do this baby? why didn't you call me?" i asked, he shook his head and whimpered.

"i-i me-messed up," he cried, this broke my heart. finn likes to blame things on himself a lot, which i know brings him more pain that he doesn't deserve; nobody deserves to feel what he's feeling right now.

"how?" i asked, finn pulled away from the hug and took off his sweatshirt, showing me the hickeys that covered his neck and collar bones, but what really stuck out to me was how thin he was.

"finn- who?" i asked, baffled. this made him cry harder, he held his head in his hands and wept.
"y-you'll h-hate me," he said, i shook my head.

"finn, i could never hate you."

i couldn't help but think back to what he said the other night when he left jaeden's house, "y-yea i'm just hungry... i'm g-gonna go home and eat,"
did he eat?

"y-you w-will!" finn sobbed, an awful noise escaped his throat. "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but i won't hate you," i cooed, i grabbed the trembling boy's hand.

"n-noah."

my stomach dropped.

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