❝ you and i, against the world, crowned as kings in our savage kingdom ❞
in which jinyoung is the greatest distraction of the boy he is in love with. where jaebum's existence collides with someone whose impact in his life is terrifying.it's a tale o...
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It's past midnight.
Jinyoung stands under the near scalding hot water raining on his back, trying in vain to let any kind of pain overpower his mind and reverse his deeds. When his skin starts blooming red, Jinyoung twists off the shower and dries himself slowly. He takes a generous amount of mouthwash and toothpaste to eliminate the disgusting aftertaste of someone else from his palette. He contemplates if he will ever be capable of looking Jaebum in the eye and tell him that he is the love of his life.
The mirror in his bathroom reflects something Jinyoung doesn't want to look at. He has cried enough after making it home with difficulty that he can't cry any further. He just stares at different directions with a blankness.
Lying on his bed where he had once desired to take Jaebum, he feels like sinking into it with shame. After sticking two fingers down his throat to retch out everything in his stomach causes his bowels to let out a low grumbling noise.
What have I done?
It was a mistake? A Sin? A crime? Either way, Jinyoung can't begin to fathom how low he had actually stooped due to alcohol, yet again. But this time, there was no Jaebum to safely escort him home or take care of his mess. Jinyoung was twisted horribly in his own hell.
How can he ever face his boyfriend, look him in the eye and confess how he had almost sucked off a stranger after getting drunk?
"But Jaebum will understand, he loves me right?" Jinyoung assures himself with half his heart.
Reaching out to Jaebum to confess is the right thing to do and yet Jinyoung feels like he could leave out the details and maybe Jaebum won't find out about it. Everything will restore to normalcy except Jinyoung will have to suffer till his last breath to bury the truth.
"I must not lie to him," Jinyoung reminds himself yet again and begins his excruciating mental preparation to face the boy he loves.
The next day arrives and he could have spent rest of the hours dropping sweet little texts to Jaebum which will get him no reply but he can understand why. He had lashed out on Jaebum for losing his diary and gave him a fitting silent treatment. On top of that, he had changed his number along with his old phone which was disposed of in the garbage.
Jaebum doesn't have his number anymore and that makes Jinyoung realize the distance they have drifted away from each other.
So Jinyoung sighs and calculates the series of unfortunate events that went down in the club last night. There was a drink involved and against all his better judgment, he had decided to empty another glass as well. Then he thought that Jaebum was in the club but he wasn't and why would he be there anyway. Gay clubs are not Jaebum's thing. He'd rather shove his face into a book rather than between someone's legs. Jinyoung loses some of his trust from Mark as well. If Mark had seen him like that, there is a chance that he might spill the beans to Jaebum because Mark Tuan, by his understanding, is a righteous person.
