iris . vkook

twenty one

이십 일

Taehyung's PoV;

As soon as Jeongguk left, I was alone in art all over again.

This sucked as that was the lesson that consumed the majority of my week, the occasional hour or two being used up in literature.

Sure, five days didn't sound that long to most people, but to me it was like a lifetime. I craved attention. 

I craved the protection in the corridors from other students shoving the 'flower freak' against the walls and lockers, my back meeting Jeongguk's wide hand span instead of the cold metal.

I craved the affection in art lessons, Jeongguk's hand holding mine as he guided me to draw or his flirting that came in at every opportunity or shitty jokes that he'd think of while just sitting there.

I craved the companionship. I wanted someone to be in my presence, even if we didn't speak or even look at eachother. I just wanted someone to be there whilst I added more purple to blank canvas pages.

I craved attention.

After lacking it for so long, then finally having someone to feed me it on a golden platter, and then for them to leave again. 

It was hard.

Glares returned, along with the giggles and snickers in corridors as I ducked my head down, making my way through the sea of students without Jeongguk's helpful and comforting hand on my lower back.

Thankfully, Kai and his men seemed to stay away, save for the gentle and petty shove from Baekhyun each time he passed me, but nothing more than childish actions.

I wanted nothing more than to have an in-depth conversation with Jeongguk, I wanted to tell him about how shit my days were without him, I wanted to tell him how I felt.

However, I didn't want to bother him or guilt trip him. And I certainly didn't want to annoy him with stupid feelings that would disappear in a few weeks without his returning of feelings.

Although, I did miss how he'd slug into art after dance practice, collapsing on the table and complaining about 'how fucking sweaty' he was. I missed the smell of pungent cigarette smoke that would follow his trail after he'd skipped a lesson to go smoke in the bathrooms or on the field. I missed seeing a hint of crimson and jade whenever he leaned forwards or turned his head a certain way, causing his shirt to dip and expose the permanent ink etched onto his skin.

This made me feel stupid because it was only a crush. But then, I'd realise that, oh yeah - this guy is literally my soulmate and we're meant for eachother, but he has an extreme disinterest towards a proper relationship and settling down and would much rather stay in the flirting zone.

Just my luck.

Perhaps all those weird, old, conspiracists were right as they pointed to my eyes and then talked to their youthful offspring, talking to me about how I was an angel who sinned and therefore the link to my soulmate had dissipated as a result. The lack of future love had led to my eyes turning black due to the stars burning out as I had no one to impress or appeal to, so why should I deserve such pretty eyes? 

Maybe Jimin was right as he told me that I should stop chasing Jeongguk, because 'no offence, but full offence, you're an idiot if you think that the feelings are mutual, he's just flirting with you for the fun of it', which hurt to hear but he was only blunt with such things when he was confident with his words.

But then, I'd see Jeongguk and all these thoughts diffused into nothing, and I'd simply be mesmerised by his attractiveness and charm. The way his nose was a gentle slope, leading to a cute button at the end. The way his top lip was thin compared to his swell bottom lip, the colour being similar to that of rose petals and the skin beneath his bottom lip was interrupted by a faint dent in his skin, where a lip ring once sat comfortably in his labret. The way his eyes looked wide and youthful, no matter if his irises were his natural colour or covered by a layer of plastic. The way his left eyebrow had another faint dent, where an eyebrow piercing once sat snugly. The way his cheekbone was adorned by a baby scar, the causation behind it unknown to my ears. Or maybe how his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes squinted and his lip pouted when the teacher came over to criticise his words, a lazy smirk making its way across his features when he managed to sweet-talk her into his drawings being related to the topic he was studying, because of course the page covered by hyacinth flowers was related to modern technology, you just had to infer it a different way.

He was so bluntly full of shit and lying through his teeth, yet the young woman simply pulled a face in agreement and patted him on the shoulder, praising him with a short chain of words before moving onto the next group of students.

I missed his disobedience in lessons and around school. The way he'd push infront in lines, to grab a red apple and a carton of banana milk. The way he'd frown and backtalk to a teacher when they'd threaten to give him a detention. The way they'd try to convince the teacher that his leather jacket was allowed because 'it was actually a jacket that just looked like leather, but it was actually cotton and they could even feel it if they wanted'.

"Oi, pansy!" Someone yelled, breaking me from my trance as I tried to leave the school peacefully, "off to go buy some flowers for loverboy?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes and walking away from them and their giggling friends.

If only Jeongguk was here, he'd shut them up with a cock of his left eyebrow.

Pft, if Jeongguk was here, they wouldn't even look at me.

I wonder what he's up to.