iris . vkook

forty

사십

Jeongguk's PoV;

Drumming my fingers to the beat of the current song playing, I looked out of the window as we waited at a traffic light. 

I noticed that my concentration was slowly diffusing.

I couldn't keep my eyes on the road.

My stomach was filled with nerves and anxiety, my heart pounding at what seemed to be a thousand beats per minute, my head feeling empty.

Jisom.

Jisom.

Jisom.

Fucking Jisom!

His name swam around in my brain, attacking my memories and causing my eyes to prick with tears.

I wasn't scared of the guy because he beat me or because he called me silly names that shouldn't have hurt as much as they did, I was scared because of what happened to Jung-hyun when he was in the exact same position.

I lied to Taehyung.

Jung-hyun didn't die of suicide.

Nothing fucking close.

But how could I waltz in and tell Taehyung, the person who I was originally supposed to assassinate, that my brother died because his partner beat him til he bled to death?

How could I possibly let those words escape my mouth without breaking down?

Hell, they're only in my mind now and I'm already breaking down, desperately turning corners to look for somewhere to park.

Fuck, we'd only just entered Daegu and I couldn't keep my mind in one place.

Blinking rapidly in an attempt to push back the flashback that was about to rip through my head, I swerved to the side and found a car park for some sort of mall, deserted as expected for nearly one in the morning.

Readjusting a sleeping Taehyung's blanket, I grabbed my box of cigarettes before stepping out of the car and sitting on the bonnet, lighting one of the sticks and allowing the smoke to rush through my lungs. Leaning back, I allowed the memories to run through my head where I could break down safely without risk of crashing the car.

"You're stupidly forgiving. Even after Jung-hyun beat the absolute shit out of you countless times, you still sat there with his dying, bloodied body until he passed away in your arms."

Taeyong's voice rang through my ears, the flashback appearing like a flash flood as I allowed myself to succumb.

--------------------------- F L A S H B A C K ------------------------------

WARNING ;; DOMESTIC ABUSE 

Sighing, I placed my bag on the table, relieved to be away from Jisom for a few days.

Noticing my mother and father weren't in, I went to walk into the kitchen so that I could quickly steal loads of food without being told off, but I was instead interrupted by Jung-hyun's boyfriend storming out, seething as he ripped the door open and stomped out.

Seeing that his knuckles were a scarlet shade, panic began to rise in my stomach, a funny feeling in my tummy as I detected that something was off.

Something was wrong.

Chewing my lip, I mentally questioned whether I should run after him or check upstairs for Jung-hyun. 

As I heard a loud banging noise and rounds of heavy breathing, I rushed upstairs in a panicked state.