Chapter Eighteen: Unguarded impulse

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"The worst battle is between what you know and what you feel."
-Unknown

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Em was just leaving the Duchess' room when she heard a set of heavy footfalls across the hall. Beneath the flickering light she saw Dathan's form who made his way to his room. His face looked grim.

"Dathan?" She called to him.

He paused midway and turned, he saw Em's frail figure outside his mother's chambers. Despite the anger he had been harbouring, seeing her again made his skin tingle. The memory of the kiss still fresh on his mind.

"Hello, Em."

She started walking towards him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking because his eyes remained on her lips. Why hadn't he noticed her before? Em was beautiful beyond compare. She had a natural way of grace that no other women had. Her manner and the way she handled herself was different as well. If she changed into a fancier dress no one would mistake her as a scullery maid.

She finally stood in front of him, if he reached out his hand they'll be touching. But he fought not to.

"Why are you here so early? Did you finish dinner already?"

God. Even her voice had a nice lilting tone. "It was a short one. And I wanted to rest."

"You slept the entire morning, how could you be wanting to rest again?"

Dathan smiled, "Can I show you something Em? I promise I won't try anything stupid."

Em regarded him carefully. What happened this morning still shocked her. She tried to to tell herself that it was just the wine talking and Dathan had had far too many. He did apologized for his behaviour. So why was she hesitating? She knew her friend would never hurt her and she trusted him. Maybe it was herself she did not trust around him.

Finally she said, "What is it?"

Dathan offered his hand, "Come. It's a surprise."

She took the offer and felt her fingers entwined with his comfortably. Like her hand fitted perfectly with his. Which is odd because Dathan had huge hands and hers were smaller.

They arrived at his chambers and went inside. They did not need caution. At this time the servants are all having their dinner at the kitchen. She planned to join them soon. Dathan flicked a match and lighted several candles. He told her to sit and went into his things.

His room had been aired during the day and a chill have lingered even with the windows closed. She ought to tell him to get a fire started or he'll freeze tonight.

Dathan searched his bags and found the little hand crafted box at the bottom of his things. He turned around and found Em sitting on his bed like she belonged there. The sight of her petite body in a respectable looking dress stirred memories. He remembered how soft she felt underneath him and how those plump bosom had arched against his chest.

Dathan shook his head. He was sober now. He shouldn't be thinking of those things. Last night he had been utterly drunk and allowed the alcohol to cloud his judgement. Em was weak and easily seduced. He should know better. He was the man here and he had experience.He never should have kissed her. But he did. And he only had one glass of wine at dinner. Why is his body reacting this intensely?

"Well?"

He stared up to her and realized he had been quiet for sometime. He finally found his voice and went to sit next to her. The sudden nearness gave him a whiff of her scent. Her hair brushed his shoulders lightly and he fought not to stare at the valley between her breasts. Damnation. Focus Dathan.

"I had been studying how to design jewelries in Portham. This is one of my best creations so far."

He opened the box and revealed a bracelet made of gemstones. His fingers lifted the jewellery and held it into Em's face. Her amber eyes marvelled at the stones as they sparkled under the candlelight.

"It's beautiful Dathan."

He took her wrist and placed the bracelet carefully, he found the perfect fit and locked it. "Now it's beautiful."

Em raised her wrist and touched the stones, "So pretty. What are they?"

"Emeralds."

"They're like your eyes." She said. When he frowned she chuckled before explaining, "Well, I noticed that sometimes when you're upset the color of your eyes had a hint of green on them. But when you're happy they appear bluer than usual."

"Is that so? How...odd."

"Yes. And no don't think that it is odd. It is very charming actually. It's like being able to capture the sea just by looking at your eyes."

Dathan held her hand. He liked how the bracelet looked on her. He knew it would be perfect. Her fingers played at the stones while he caressed her fingers. Why does he feel like he always wanted to touch her?

"Dathan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why did you put this on me?"

He lifted his eyes and stared at her, "I wanted you to have it, Em."

"Why?"

"I just want to."

She scoffed, "You'd better come up with a better reason. Because I cannot accept such expensive gift from you."

"Well, I missed your birthday. Five birthdays to be exact. This is to make up for it." Well, that was stupid. But his mind was clearly not working. He told her the truth that he wanted to give it to her, simple. Why did she have to ask for a reason at all?

"Still, this is too much. I've never had anything so fancy."

"Keep it Em, please? I spent sleepless nights just to make that."

She smiled, Dathan rarely begged and she liked that. After all those years of childish pranks, he was practically maturing.

"Alright. But I will only wear in special occasions. A gem of this beauty must have a pretty dress to pair with. I'm afraid my work clothes won't do."

Dathan sighed with relief, "Thank you Em." He kissed the back of her hand because he just felt doing so. She flushed terribly.

"I think I should go now. Ana will be looking for me."

"Of course. Tell Ana and Sam I sent my regards."

Em stood and opened the door but she remembered how he looked when he was climbing the stairs, "Dathan?"

"Yes?"

"I'm just concerned. I know how you and the Duke are in the past. And you just got back. Have things been working for you? Are you alright?"

Dathan rose from the bed and went to stand with her.

"I'm fine. You know father, he says the most appropriate things at the right moment."

Em bowed. So he had been getting the same treatment. When will the Duke realize that Dathan was his own person and he simply cannot dictate what he wanted? It was unfair that he had to go away and support himself because his family could not accept his decision.

"Will I see you again?" He asked.

Em stared at his eyes, they were of midnight blue this time. So he must be happy or just not angry. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek. He had grown a beard before but he kept it shaven now. She felt the bristles growing and found she actually like them. She leaned closer and whispered, "Would you like me to stay with you tonight?"

That one question undid him. The door closed softly and he brought Em back inside.

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