Deceived Heart (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 49

"It's true. I'm your mother Louis," she smiled weakly.

"Stop it! Stop saying that! I know you're not her! My mother's dead! She's dead! Stop lying to me!" I shook my head vigorously and started taking deep breaths.

"I'm not lying. You have to believe me."

"Well I don't!" I said in denial. 

"You do, you just don't want to admit it."

"Okay, so what if I am! What if I don't want to admit it? What the hell are you going to be able to do about it? Huh?" I said coldly.

"I honestly don't know. I wanted you to know the truth, but not this way. Not at your father's funeral or for you to yell at me. I truly am sorry. Listen, if you want to talk more about this situation, just give me a call and we can meet up. I'm free tomorrow. Please take the offer, I want to know you better," she smiled and gave me a piece of paper with her number on it. I took it and shoved it into my pocket. She tried to touch my arm.

I flinched away.

Once I did, her face fell. She looked up, gave a fake smile then walked away from us all.

"Look at that! Look! She's walking away!" I yelled to the boys when she was out of earshot.

"Calm down Louis. I know you're upset but-" Niall began to say.

"But nothing! She's walking away like she fucking did eighteen years ago! I've been lied to my whole life! Nobody even had the fucking decency to tell me that the woman who I thought was my mom wasn't even my mom this whole time!" I paced back and forth seething.

"Yeah, it's a lot to take in. Listen, I don't know how you feel, but the least you could do is talk to her. I mean now you know. At least you won't have to go another 50 years thinking that Johannah was your mom when she wasn't," Zayn said calmly.

"Well I would've been better off if I thought that. Everything would be way easier. This whole shit is so fucking complicated. It's all fucked up and I can't do shit about it," I sighed frustrated.

"I can see you're angry and very frustrated, but you have to understand where that woman was coming from. Okay? Imagine if you were her. You wouldn't want the first conversation with your son to be like that. You wouldn't have wanted him to yell at you. She's probably as hurt as you are right now," Liam said.

"He's right you know?" Niall agreed with Liam. "If that happened to me, I would've started crying. My own son hating me? That would be pretty rough."

"I don't think Louis hates her," Harry replied.

"No he's right. I hate her," I argued.

"Louis! Stop. She's your mom. You shouldn't even say that about your mom," Harry scowled.

"Well guess what Harry! I don't care if she's my birthmom okay? She was never there for me! She never even cared about me! If she really did care, she wouldn't have stalked me! She would've fucking taken responsibility for me! She would've helped and shit! She wouldn't have fucking stood on the sidelines watching as this shit was happening okay? Is that what a real mom does? No, I don't fucking think so," I said angrily. I began to walk away. I couldn't take this. I needed time to clear my head.

"Louis where are you going?" Zayn asked.

"Away! Don't wait up!" I answered without turning around.

***

I sat in the grass in mine and Harry's park. I took a deep breath and let it out. All of this was so screwed up. I honestly didn't know what to do anymore. I just wanted to go home and take a long break from life. If it was only possible if I could just sleep for 10 years, wake back up, then all of this fucked up stuff would be over with. Nothing was going right. Why couldn't I just go away for about a year. Just drive and keep driving. Not know where I was going, but I can't do that. I have friends and a life here, but most of the time my life just isn't working out for me.