Deceived Heart (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 67

"Somewhere! Just don't follow me!" I called out.

I started running, but I still heard him crying in his broken voice.

"But I still love you."

I shook it off. It devestated me how he might not even mean those words. This is all just one sick game isn't it? Maybe this is just a nightmare I can't escape. Yes, of course I still love him, but does he truly love me back? Does he truly want to be with me again? Or will we just be one of those annoying on and off couples? It's just better for both of us if we stay apart.

I know I'm overreacting about all of this, but I can't do anything about it now. I probably destroyed him and shattered his heart by yelling at him. I feel so guilty, yet so relieved for some reason. I walked past Zayn's car. Niall's head popped out.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"I don't wanna talk right now," I grumbled and walked away faster.

The walk made me think. About a lot of stuff. What would've happened if I said yes? Would we be hugging and kissing right now? Is Harry sitting alone all depressed? There were so many thoughts running through my head like a waterfall. I sighed and sat down. I rubbed my hand over my face and let my eyes drop to the stone in front of me.

"I'm here again mom," I spoke after staring at it a while.

"Seems like you're my escape from everything in the world again," I smiled lightly. "I wish you were still here to tell me what to do right now."

I picked at the grass in front of her grave.

"Harry proposed to me today, but I said no. Well, more like screamed at him like a lunatic. He just hurt me a lot mom. Now, I don't know if I want to take that no back and say yes, or just curl into a ball and cry to myself."

I let my head drop to the ground beside her gravestone.

"The ring was beautiful though. My heart stopped when he proposed, but I feel like I just don't know if I can go through with it. Yelling at him was just my defense. To show him I was too hurt to say yes, but in return I hurt him. Does that make me a monster?"

Maybe talking to my mom, was just like talking to myself, but I didn't care. I got my thoughts out, and pretended like she was still there to give me advice. Now that may sound like I'm crazy, but I'm really not. I'm still just a kid who needs their mom.

"I just- I d-don't know what to do anymore. It's all giving me a headache. I still love him so much mom, I do. I just don't want to end up getting hurt, or hurting him. I wouldn't forgive myself if it happened again. On the other hand, he makes me really happy, but right now, he's just making me feel morbid. Please mom, give me some sort of sign that can tell me what to do. I know it sounds stupid, but I really really need this."

I waited. And waited. And waited. But nothing came.

I was about to say something again, when somebody else spoke.

"Hi," they whispered.

"What are you doing here Harry? I told you not to follow me," I sighed.

"I couldn't stay away I guess," he came and sat across from me.

We were face to face. I looked anywhere, but at him.

"How much did you hear?" I asked.

"Dunno, just got here," he answered honestly.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go now," I began to get up, but he pulled me back down gently.

"We need to talk," his eyes looked at mine.