Bangtan Stoopids

85

Y'all it's raining and I didn't know so my sweater is wet, I'm cold, and my bangs got wet so they're like flaring..

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~~~BTS group chat~~~

Yoongi: someone explain kidnapping to Taehyung please..

Namjoon: when you take a person by force?

Jungkook: did...DID HYUNG KIDNAP SOMEONE?

Hoseok: he deadass brought a little girl home..

Jimin: Taehyung no..you can't do that.

Taehyung: her name is Soyeon and she was lost and I told her I'd bring her home to help find her parents.

Seokjin: Taehyung...you need to go to the police and explain what happened because you have a lost child in your home...YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT IS!

Yoongi: She disrupted my sleep the little fucking brat..

Namjoon: someone does not want children huh

Jungkook: Look Taehyungie, take Hoseok hyung or Yoongi hyung with you and go to the police station.

Jimin: Tae, since you like kids so much get a job with them. Like a baby sitter or daycare assistant.

Taehyung: I want a kid but both Yoongs and Hobi don't want them 😔😔

Namjoon: I'm afraid I'll drop my future kid.

Seokjin: which is why our kid would be tough..

Hoseok: Taehyung locked himself in the room with Soyeon..

Jungkook: how would you feel if you wanted a kid and the person...or in his case, the people he loves don't want to share in parenthood with him. I would be fucking wrecked.

Namjoon: wow Jungkookie...that was some wise shit huh.

Yoongi: Taehyung, unlock the door or I'll have Hoseokie break it down.

Taehyung: relax Yoongi hyung. I was just helping her put on her shoes.

Jimin: uh oh...he used honorifics...when has Tae ever used honorifics...

Seokjin: Taehyung it's okay that you feel how you do but don't be mad at Hoseok or Yoongi for having different thoughts on something.

Hoseok: he just took the little girl and left saying he was going to the police and refused to have me go with him..

Jungkook: AND AGAIN! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IN HIS SHOES?! HE DEADASS LOVES BABIES SO YOU TWO NOT WANTING THEM MADE HIM UPSET.

Namjoon: in other news...Jin...you said you were fine with having a kid?

Seokjin: after marriage my dude..did you just fucking storm out of the house?

Jimin: bet he's on his way to get that wedding ring. It feels weird wearing them. Before any of you ask Jungkook got me a promise ring and literally gave it to me promising he wouldn't upset me anymore so chill..

Taehyung: must be nice.

Yoongi: Tae come on, why are you even mad?

Hoseok: I'm a tad confused as well honestly.

Jungkook: TAE SENT ME THE CUTEST FUCKING PICTURE! LOOK AT HER HOW COULD YOU NOT WANT EIGHT OF THEM?!

Taehyung: oh but I do 😒

Yoongi: we can get another dog.

Hoseok: a girl this time if it makes you feel better...

Jimin: wow...you two really do not want children. But why? They're cute and they give undying love. Plus you can dress them really cute!

Yoongi: oh yeah let's adopt a little girl and have three men raise her. One is asleep, working, or just annoyed all the time. One goes berserk every now and again, parent teacher conferences would go well. And the third dad gets lost, is easily confused, and doesn't understand half of what's going on.

Jungkook: did I pick up a sense of shade?

Taehyung: I sure fucking did. If it makes YOU TWO feel better, I gave Soyeon back to her mother at the police station. However, I'm taking the bus to go to my moms because I don't want to talk to either of you right now. Plus my cousin is visiting and she has three kids.

Seokjin: Hoseok and Yoongi...idiots you had like four opportunities to make Taehyungie not mad and you messed each one of them up.

Jimin: I even tried to help, and Jungkook tried to sway them.

Jungkook: did Namjoon get that ring yet?

Namjoon: I just gave it to him 💗

Yoongi: so you two getting married?

Taehyung: CONGRATULATIONS?

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I had to end this because my class is starting soon..I didn't read the text for my class so TIME TO SIT AWKWARDLY SILENT FOR AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES!