Monsterous Trust (Ticci Toby x Eyeless Jack)

If We Have Each Other

I had woken up a few days ago, I wasn't in my bed but instead in an infirmary, apparently, when I had choked myself I ended up going a bit too far and hurting myself a lot, my nails dug into my windpipe and was causing me to breathe strangely and I had nearly crushed my windpipe as well, when I woke up I had to explain a lot to Zalgo, reassuring him that it wasn't my intentions to actually hurt myself that much and that I was just desperate for sleep, now I was standing alone in the training grounds, off to the side staring at my hand, having these bandages around my neck just reminded me of my hands, I was constantly feeling as if I couldn't breathe, I hear someone walk over.
"Hey halfer." They said.
I didn't bother looking up, I already knew who it was, KageKao had become one of my most common bullies, this really made me think about high school, he was about the same age as me too, I did my best to ignore him.
"Jack." He said as he kicked me slightly, "Get up."
I dropped my hand and let my head hang, I slowly started to stand up, I looked up at him silently.
"Say something." He ordered.
I didn't, I just hung my head again.
"I know you can talk." He said, "Zalgo already said he didn't silence you, so start talking."
He shoved me slightly.
"Talkback." He said, "Tell me how you feel about getting push around."
I just stood there, I was kind of hoping he would beat me up and knock me out again, I didn't want to be here, it sucked being constantly torn between my two sides, the demonic side that wants everything around me to suffer and die, and the human side that desperately doesn't want to be alone in this world, both just wanting to fit in.
"Leave him alone, Kage."
I looked up to see his girlfriend, Suicide Sadie, she usually just sat on the sidelines and watched, perhaps Zalgo told her about my situation, or maybe she just knew, I kept my attention away from them, Kage turned suddenly and punched me, knocking my mask off, I hit the ground and hurt my shoulder, I gritted my teeth and pushed myself up, Kage chuckled at me as I kept my head low, I really wanted him to knock me out.
"That's enough." I heard Zalgo say.
I looked up at him, I looked up more once I realized Slender was standing next to him, what the hell was he doing here?!
Slender was silent as he was staring at us, Masky and Hoodie were standing on either side of him, Kage and Sadie started to back away from me, I knew Slender was highly respected by just about everyone here, I lowered my head slightly, I heard Slender sigh.
"Go ahead." He said.
I heard footsteps to my left and I quickly looked, I was fully tackled and knocked over, the two of us hit the ground and rolled slightly, their arms were wrapped around my neck, nearly crushing it.
"Oh my god Jack I am so sorry!"
"T-Toby?!" I asked.
"I am so sorry!" He was actually crying, "It's my fault you left and I'm sorry!"
"T-Toby, calm down." I said I tried to pull him off me.
He started to bawl, I sat in slight stunned silence before I actually pat his back, I looked up at Slender and Zalgo slightly.
"Go back to your room." Zalgo said, "You're excused for the rest of the day."
"Okay..." I said quietly, "Thank you."
I grabbed my mask and slowly started to get up, dragging Toby with me, I soon as I got up Toby let me go, he was in full gear so I couldn't exactly see his face, I grabbed his arm and started to lead him away, as we started to head past Zalgo he held out a key, I took it quietly and dragged Toby away, neither of us said anything until I reached my cell, I let Toby go to unlock it.
"You... d-don't get much p-privacy." He said as he looked around.
"It's fine." I said as I unlocked the door, "I can't see the other cells."
I opened the door and went in, I stepped out of the way and let Toby come in, I then closed the door and set the key on the table near the door, I then started to head over to the bed, Toby somewhat followed me, I looked around the floor to see it was still covered in the pills, I hadn't exactly been in here the past while, I've been forced to stay in the infirmary, and I guess no one bothered to clean it up, I sat down on the bed and Toby sat next to me, he just about immediately threw his arms around my waist, I threw my arms up slightly as I looked down at him, I let out a sigh and threw my arm around him, I guess he didn't actually take this well, we were both quiet.
"How have you been?" I finally asked, "I haven't heard anything."
He was quiet as he continued to hug me, after a minute he started to let me go, he sat up and looked at me, he pulled his goggles up so I could actually see his eyes, they were all red and puffy, he wiped his eyes slightly.
"Sad." He said truthfully.
I felt bad.
"I don't l-like Jeff as a r-roommate..." Toby said quietly, "He's m-mean."
Now I was a bit pissed.
"How so?" I asked.
"He a-always kicks m-me out when I h-have n-nightmares..." He said quietly, "So I sleep in y-your room... old r-room..."
He had his head low now, he was messing with the sleeve of his sweater.
"I f-feel safer th-there..." He said, "As l-long as I think y-you're there..."
That's exactly what I wanted to hear, actually, that meant he was thinking about me a lot too, I grabbed his shoulders, he looked up at me.
"Tell Jeff that if he keeps acting like a prick towards you I'll haunt his dreams." I said sternly.
"Okay." Toby said.
I let him go, he was quiet.
"I like the d-doll." He said.
I looked at him.
"Did y-you make it?" He asked.
"Yeah, when I lived alone." I said, "I was bored."
He nodded.
"I w-wish I g-gave you something." He said, "L-like an exchange."
"Um..." I trailed off as I reached under the pillow, "That kinda happened... on accident."
I pulled out his goggles and showed him.
"I grabbed them by accident and didn't know I had them until I had already got here." I said, "I just sort of held onto them."
I looked up at him, he was staring a the goggles silently.
"I was wondering w-where they went." He said, "I wanted t-to give them to y-you."
We were both quiet, I wanted to talk so much but I almost felt as if I couldn't.
"Are y-you okay?" He asked.
I ever so slightly looked at him, I hung my head as I looked at the floor.
"No." I said, "I'm not."
He turned to me slightly.
"I hate it here." I said, "Everyone's so mean."
"I'm s-sorry..." He said quietly.
I was quiet as I stared at the floor, Toby looked down.
"What a-are those?" He asked.
"Antidepressants." I replied.
"Why are they o-on the f-floor?" He asked.
"I dumped them out." I said, "I haven't taken any... on my own, at least."
He was quiet as he looked at the floor.
"Um..." He trailed off, "C-can I ask w-why you d-dumped them...?"
I was quiet, I turned my attention away from him as I started to mess with my mask.
"I was... pretending to overdose..." I said quietly.
He was quiet.
"Is... that why your n-neck's bandaged?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Oh..." He said quietly.
I was staring silently at my mask.
"Why?"
I looked up at him.
"Why were you p-pretending to o-overdose?" He asked.
I looked away from him again.
"Because I wanted to sleep." I said, "I can't just lay down and sleep anymore, but if I pretend I committed suicide I can sleep..."
Toby was uncomfortably quiet, I knew he was going to be upset but I had to tell someone, and he's the only one I fully trust, I had a lump in my throat, I swallowed hard trying to get rid of it.
"Jack?"
I looked up at him slightly, he had pulled his mouth guard down.
"I d-don't care if y-your depressed, I'm still y-your friend." He said, "And I'm here for you."
I was going to cry, I leaned on him and started sobbing, he hugged me quickly, this is exactly what I needed right now, I needed Toby to know everything, I needed all this off my chest, I quickly began confessing everything to him, telling every little insecurity, every reason I wouldn't fight back with everyone else, my rage, everything, I didn't leave anything out, he sat there with me the entire time, letting me vent, by the time I was finished I felt so much better, it felt like every weight put on my shoulder ever was lifted, I actually felt calm now, I was sitting silently in his arms, he was still rubbing my back slightly, I moved a bit and looked at my nightstand to see my notebook waiting for me, I leaned on Toby a bit more.
"That book..." I said quietly, "It's... full of things that aren't good..."
Toby looked around a bit before he spotted it.
"C-can... I read it?" He asked quietly.
I was glad he respected me that much, that he actually asked after I mentioned it, I nodded as I sat up, Toby reached over and grabbed it, I pulled my knees up to my face as Toby opened it, I watched him quietly as he read, but even though everything in that book was horrible and even worried Zalgo he didn't seem at all worried, he was completely calm as he read, silently flipping pages, once he reached the last page he looked up at me, I quickly looked away, I glanced back at him to see he was going to the very back of the book, he looked around quickly before grabbing the pencil off the nightstand, he began writing something down.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"You c-can wait." He said.
I sat silently watching, he kept twitching as he wrote and I knew it was messing him up, although he didn't say anything the entire time, once he was done he closed the book and set it on the nightstand.
"Y-you can r-read that later." He said.
I sighed, I guess he wanted to hang out now.
"What... should we do?" I asked.
Toby was quiet.
"Do you have cards?" He asked.
"Like... playing cards?" I asked.
"Yes." He said.
"In the nightstand." I said, "I usually play solitaire."
Toby opened the nightstand and pulled out the deck of cards.
"We're going t-to play Slap Jack." He said.
I braced for impact, Toby started laughing.
"No!" He laughed at me, "We slap the Jack's f-from the cards!"
"Oh." I sighed as I relaxed, "I didn't want to be slapped."
He laughed again as I chucked, my mood was already improving, just seeing him made my day so much better, he started to teach me how to play and I learned quickly, we started playing and I quickly discovered that Toby slapped hard, but I was too determined to back down and let him win, we kept playfully growling at each other, every time Toby would lag behind me and slap after I already had I would yelp, and every time he'd apologize, by the time we had played three times both our hands were red, I was quietly rubbing the back of my hand, Toby couldn't feel the sting so he was just laughing at me.
"Bastard!" I growled at him.
"Whimp." He scoffed.
"Lozer." I said.
"Prick." He said.
"Moron."
"Lazy."
"Cock Sucker."
Toby snorted loudly, which in turn got me to laugh, the two of us laughed wildly.
"What the hell's so funny?" I asked through my laughter, "I call you a cock sucker."
He giggled which just made me laugh more, which made him laugh, we weren't getting anywhere now, I hiccuped slightly and Toby started to die of laughter, I got to the point my stomach started to hurt.
"It hurts...! It hurts..!" I gasped out, "Stop...!"
After a full fifteen minutes, we started to calm down, my sides hurt so damn much, I laid back on the bed and let out a groan.
"You almost... killed me..." I panted.
"Sorry." He said, trying not to laugh.
We both sat there quietly as we calmed down, once we calmed down we started to play go fish, after a couple of minutes something banged against the door, we both jumped and looked over quickly, one of my bullies, Hobo Heart, was walking away, he purposely did that every time I was in my cell before him, I saw Masky walking over.
"We're leaving, Toby." He said.
I was immediately upset.
"O-okay." Toby said as he set his cards down, "I'm c-coming."
He got off my bed and started to leave, just as he opened the door he turned to me.
"Bye!" He smiled happily as he pulled his mouthguard back up, "I h-had fun!"
"Bye, Toby." I said as I waved slightly.
He waved vigorously as he started to follow Masky away, Shadow looked in quickly and grabbed the key, he locked the door before walking off, once I was basically alone I pulled my knees up, I leaned against them silently, it was oddly quiet now, even though I knew everyone was back from training.
"Jack?" I heard Jill ask.
"Yeah?" I replied.
It was stunned silence, I sighed slightly as I leaned against my knees slightly.
"Oh, sorry." I heard her say, "I didn't expect you to actually reply."
"It's fine..." I said quietly.
"Who was that?" She asked.
I was quiet.
"Ticci Toby." I said, "He's... one of Slenderman's proxies."
It was silent.
"Like...the proxy that got you kicked out?" I heard Zipper ask.
"Yeah, that was Toby." I said.
"But you killed him, didn't you?" Jill asked.
"What?" I asked as I looked up.
"That's what everyone's been saying." Jill said, "The reason Zalgo's been giving you special attention was because you killed one of Slenderman's proxies."
I was quiet as I sat there.
"No, I didn't kill him." I said, "I just... attacked him a lot in my sleep."
"Then why are you getting special attention?!" I heard Heart ask.
I was quiet, I looked over at the notebook, I didn't reply.
"Leave him alone, Heart." Jill said.
"Fuck you!" Heart shouted.
Everyone quickly began yelling at one another, I blocked them all out and grabbed my notebook, I opened it to the back to see what Toby wrote down.

"I know you're taking all this hard but I've already forgiven you, and I always will, you are my best friend and I really care about your health, reading this book was concerning but I trust you, there's a reason you wrote it all down, but there's also a reason you haven't done any of it yet, and I'm happy about that.
And even though you're on a completely different plane of existence I'm still by your side like you are with me, and with you, I can do anything, even things I never thought possible on my own, like overcoming my fear of guys older than me and alcohol.
I really, really wanted you to know that no matter what you decide to do, even suicide, I'll always support you, though I will miss you, and I won't overreact and make it a double suicide, so please stop worrying about me.
And stop worrying about what your bullies say or do.
I like you the way you are.
Goodnight.
Toby."

I was silently crying by the end of it, I had my mouth covered as I attempted not to sob, I closed the book and set it aside, I laid on my bed and reached under the pillow, grabbing his goggles, I sighed slightly as I closed my eyes, Toby was all I needed right now.
I want to go home.