Monsterous Trust (Ticci Toby x Eyeless Jack)

Four Months Gone

[This chapter's going to be a bit different, this time it's going to be from Toby's point of view while Jack's gone for the four months, so you can know what all happened, after this chapter it'll go back to Jack point of view, be prepared for a heafty read and enjoy!]

I was laying on Jack's floor, where I had been the past six days, I was staring blankly at the ceiling counting how many identifiable shapes were in the strange texture, I had found about three that looked like penises, I kept thinking I found new ones but quickly realized I had already seen them, I had spent the first month sulking, the second month trying to go back to the way things were before I knew him, and this month I spent constantly in here thinking about him.
I couldn't get him off my mind.
"Toby?"
I glanced at the door, Clocky was back, I let out a dissatisfied groan as I threw my arm over my face, she came over and sat next to me.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"J-just leave." I groaned, "C-can't you s-see I'm busy?"
"With what...?" She asked as she looked up at the ceiling.
"None of y-your business." I snapped.
She looked down at me, I covered my face again, she was silent as she sat there.
"Do you really miss him that much?" She asked.
"Yes..." I said quietly.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because he w-was nice." I replied.
"No, he wasn't." She said quietly, "He was a prick."
"He has h-his reasons." I said, glaring up at her slightly, "Everyone j-just didn't b-bother t-to see!"
She was quiet as she looked down at me.
"He'd be fine, wouldn't he?" She asked, "He's a tough guy."
"He was in a b-bad place..." I said quietly as I threw my arm over my eyes, trying not to cry.
"What do you mean?" She asked as she lifted my arm slightly.
I pulled my arm back down, she let out an angry huff.
"You know, you d-didn't notice, right?" I asked angrily, "And b-because of that h-he d-didn't t-trust anyone."
"What are you talking about?" She asked as she poked my side.
I was quiet.
"I don't think h-he'd like me t-talking about it." I said, "He h-has problems t-trusting people, especially w-with personal information."
She poked my side again, I ignored her, she kept poking my side, trying to get me to talk.
"He d-doesn't t-trust people because he was b-betrayed, okay?!" I asked angrily, "I ain't about t-to stoop that low!"
She was quiet as she stopped poking me, now sitting quietly.
"Do you... wanna go pester Masky?" She asked quietly.
"No." I said, "Masky's a w-waste of t-time."
She was dead quiet.
"Who are you and what did you do with Toby?" She asked, sounding concerned.
"I don't know." I said, "T-to both those q-questions."
She was quiet, I felt her place her hand on my forehead.
"What happened to you?" She asked, "You've changed so much since Jack."
I moved my arm to look at her.
"That's b-because Jack showed me a s-side no one else g-got to see." I said quietly, "I was special t-to him..."
She gave me a sympathetic look, I covered my face again.
"I just wanna see him..." I said quietly, "At least one more time..."
I sobbed slightly, she pat my head.
"Do you e-even know how I f-feel?" I asked.
"I don't know." She said, "I don't even know remotely what your feeling, but if you explained then I would."
I was quiet, pursing my lips into a pout, I turned my head away from her slightly.
"I lost my best friend..." I said quietly, "And not j-just a friend, either!"
I threw my hands in the air, reaching toward the ceiling.
"He w-was a friend, a g-guardian, a mentor, hell, even a t-teddy bear!" I shouted, "He w-was there f-for me when no one e-else was!"
I covered my face with my hands as I sobbed.
"Jeff's s-so mean!" I cried, "He c-cared about me...!"
"What are you talking about?" She asked.
"I have n-night-tmares! Const-tant night-tmares!" I cried, "Jack would l-lay with m-me and make me feel b-better! Jeff k-kicks me out f-for crying!"
"That jackass." She said quietly.
"I want him back...!" I cried, "I want him home...!"
She reached down and pat my head.
"I know..." She said softly, "But don't you think he'd be upset knowing how you were taking this?"
I had no clue, honestly, I was kind of hoping that me throwing a tantrum on the day he left would change everyone's minds, but everyone just called me a child and a whiner, Masky even called me immature, I thought about how he acted when I begged for him not to go, what he said to me, I sobbed a bit heavier, Clocky did her best to comfort me, I felt so bad for everything, I couldn't help but feel responsible for everything, this was all my fault, wasn't it?!
"Toby!" Clocky shouted.
I looked up at her slightly, she looked very concerned.
"Get ahold of yourself." She said caringly as she cradled my face, "You need to calm down."
I pushed her hands away from me, right now I desperately wanted to cry until it hurt, even if I couldn't feel pain, she just sat next to me rubbing my shoulder, after a couple minutes I was just laying on the floor facing away from her, tears still rolling down my cheeks.
"Go away." I shooed, "J-just leave m-me alone..."
She sat for a few seconds longer before she got up, I listened silently as she left, I laid there a while longer until my vision warped, someone was standing near me and I knew it was my master.
"You've stopped eating." I heard him say.
"That's nothing new..." I said quietly.
I had lost my appetite a lot more recently, I haven't even been in the mood for waffles, is this what depression actually feels like? Lack of interest?
"It's time you stop acting like such a child." He said, "Eyeless Jack is gone, and he won't be coming back, accept that."
I was silent, I didn't even bother looking at him.
"The reason I even t-told you was because he t-told me to..." I said quietly, "He s-said that he n-needed to t-take blame for everything..."
I glared up at him.
"If he wouldn't h-had said anything I w-would had lied a-again, just for h-him." I said angrily, "But I g-guess that d-doesn't matter, now d-does it?!"
I rolled over so I was laying on my stomach, I let out a low growl at his feet.
"I thought you of a-all people w-would at l-least t-try to understand." I growled, "I can't lose another one...!"
I used my arms to cover my head, forcing my face into his wooden floor, it was cold against my flustered face, I had never been angry at my master before, but damn, he was being so unfair!
"Toby..." Slender said softly.
"Do you e-even know how b-bad he was b-before he left?!" I asked angrily, "He was suicidal as a-all hell!"
Slender quickly went quiet, I slowly pushed myself off the floor, keeping my head down.
"If he feels t-too guilty because of m-me... a-and h-he..." I trailed off, "I don't know what I would do...!"
I was starting to sob again, I used my hands to cover my face.
"I lost my best friend!" I cried, "It's Lyra all over again...!"
I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, I sobbed heavily into my hands as I was pulled into a hug, I think this was the first time Slender actually tried to comfort me, I cried heavily as I sat there.
"I just wanna see him...!" I sobbed, "I just wanna know he's okay...!"
I heard him let out a sigh.
"You understand that he is no longer under my rule, correct?" He asked, "Allowing you to see him may take some time..."
I looked up quickly, was he really saying what I think he was saying, he was staring down at me in silence.
"All I can do is ask for permission." He said, "It is all up to Zalgo's decision."
"Yes!" I said quickly, "That's all I w-want! I just w-wanna see him!"
"I'll see what I can do." Slender said, "Just be patient."
Now I was excited, I wanted to see him so badly.
"I-I will be." I said, "I'll wait."
He stood up and my vision warped, he was gone, I got up off the floor and quickly went over to Jack's bed, I sat on the edge and moved his pillow, I grabbed the tiny doll and laid back, I held the doll up, he left this with me for a reason, and it has done me some good, whenever I had nightmares I would always end up here, and this secret doll was all I had to comfort me, sometimes I would actually pretend that he was here, he'd sit next to me and rub my head as I cried, I just prayed that I'd be able to see him, that's all I want.