idol ⌮ kim yohan

18 | for my family

Yohan~

"So, who's gonna change the diapers?" Olivia and I stared at Bonghee, who's been crying for a while now.

"Do you know how to do it?" She looked and me and I shook my head. "Me neither... but I'll try."

She threw away the old diaper and cleaned the baby's bum, put a little powder to lessen the chance of getting diaper burns. Olivia stayed calm throughout the whole process, despite it being her first time.

"You're good at this. You'll become a great mom." I admired her while she looked after Bonghee.

"Just me? I want us to become good parents. He seems hungry, go feed him." Liv demanded, but I couldn't take her seriously. She's just too cute to look mad.

"Alright, mom." I rolled my eyes while laughing. I grabbed a bottle and the powdered formula, added some water and began shaking it. Once developed, I fed Bong Bong while carrying him in my arms... I would love a child someday.

"You two look so adorable." She complimented making me smile, which formed the little wrinkles on the sides of my eyes.

"Finish university right away. I want a baby already!" I whined like a child. "Look how small and innocent. He's too cute."

"They grow old. Get a dog instead."

"True."

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Olivia~

"Can you sleep here tonight? In case I need help with Bonghee?" Yohan pouted while batting his lashes. "I'm not planning anything weird... that's for next time."

"You're unbelievable," I sighed but finally gave in. "I'm telling your sisters that you're like this."

"Shh! Don't let them know what kind of person their brother is," He said in a sarcastic tone. "They're too young. Middle schoolers."

"They probably know more than you," I stated and he nodded in agreement. "You seem close with them. I saw the pictures in your office, then here. You also mentioned them in some of your shows."

"You really watched and memorized all my shows, didn't you?" He joked but I didn't laugh at all. I mean, where's the lie in that?

"150708 Kim Yohan? That look was iconic. Of course I remember that interview, it was after your U Got It stage on Produce x 101. You even cried."

"You really know me. What's there to hide?" He started shaking his head while laughing. "Well, my sisters and I practiced Taekwondo all the time- especially since we lived in the province, and there's barely anything to do there. They're also both on the national team."

"Really? That's amazing! It runs in your blood." My eyes grew wife.

"Honestly, yeah. It's really fun having sisters, but it's also very worrisome. It seems like more girls are in danger, being outside in the streets than male. But then my sisters can kick ass, so."

"For real. Especially at night, lots of people here seem drunk." I suddenly got flashbacks...

"Right? That's why I prefer them studying in the province. Seoul is too dangerous, doesn't matter if you're good in Taekwondo or what. I was an idol, so for me the danger was emotionally. It's hard being away from your family, then comes the pressure of becoming a better person and performer for the viewers. I tried not to let it consume me."

"I can relate, since my mom lives in Canada. My best friend Tony too, who's technically like my brother from another mother. I miss them so much. As much as I love living here, I'm also realizing how much I took for granted the love I received from them."

"Right? That's why whenever I go back home or my family comes to visit here, I make sure to spend lots of time with them. You know, I actually feel embarrassed being my sisters' brother..."

"Huh? Why would you? You seem to love them so much, and genuinely trying your best to succeed for them. Why would you be embarrassed?"

"Because I let them down. They were so happy when I made my debut, especially since they made new friends because of it. When my group flopped, my sisters also had a meltdown. It didn't just affect me, it affected them too. Probably even worse. So now, I don't want to be their brother who's a failure- I wanna be better than that."

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I GOT MY ALBUMS YESTERDAY SSGSHSH FOR AB6IX I GOT PARK WOOJIN & KIM DONGHYUN PC-FOR CIX I GOT BAE JINYOUNG, LEE BYOUNGGON & KIM SEUNGHUN PC HUHUH<3

Song: J_ust (그_냥) — Monologue (혼잣말)