idol ⌮ kim yohan

32 | promotion

[TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, signs and symptoms]

Yohan~

We were immediately greeted by fans after stepping foot onto New York's premises. Fans in America definitely act different than the ones in Korea, and it's so interesting to see how much they love us despite the language barrier. It reminded me of Olivia when we first met.

Everyone's still quite jet lag, so we decided to make our way down to the hotel after having takeout. Of course, we always have cameras watching us since we're shooting our first "reality show".

We did some silly games and such, just to pick out rooms even though we're all so exhausted already. In the end, I became roommates with Junho. We each took turns taking a shower, and of course I had to put on some cozy socks before going to bed.

"Goodnight." Junho and I exchanged words before shutting off the lamp.

Not long later, I suddenly heard footsteps along with deep sighs every few seconds. I quickly turned on the lights, and noticed Junho drenched in cold sweat. He seems just about ready to faint.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to call over the manager?" I tried to calm him down but he strictly refused any of my offers.

"No, don't worry- I'm used to it. I can just take sleeping pills and it'll be fine..." He checked his heart rate before falling onto his bed. He's still trembling and he seems to have trouble staying still.

"You're literally shaking- can you perform tomorrow? Do you wanna get a check up before the interview?" I suggested but Junho just furrowed his eyebrows.

"No- I can manage! It happens every time, so just don't worry about it." He technically repeated himself.

"When did this start?"

"Ever since we debuted again."

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Yohan~

We walked around Times Square and explored Manhattan as a group, while the camera crew is of course filming us for our reality show. Many people recognized our group, which didn't fail to put smiles on our faces. It's really cool to see just how popular KPOP is overseas.

"Oh my gosh- that's us!" Hyeongjun squealed while pointing at the LED screen showing our faces in the middle of Broadway. It's honestly breathtaking, and I got chills allover my body.

We each took pictures in front of it, before leaving to go somewhere else. The fans waved goodbye, and we headed to a restaurant with fine dining.

"Hey Junho, are you okay?" Hangyul noticed it too. Today he hasn't been his usual self- instead of being all talkative and weird, he's been really quiet and seems to have a lot in mind.

"Oh, yeah. I'm just thinking of tomorrow's performance..." He started shaking his head.

"Hey, just enjoy today. Don't worry much about it, you'll do great!" I reassured him and he nodded in reply.

We ate at Craft and chatted for a while, before going site seeing and shopping once again- but this time, with no more cameras surrounding us.

I decided to take Junho out on a boat tour around the Statue of Liberty, in attempt to at least clear his mind a little. The other members also separated and did their own little things.

"This is nice," Junho smiled while staring at the blue ocean. He seems to finally be at ease, which made me feel so proud of myself. "I don't want to make any self diagnosis, but I think I may be dealing with anxiety... the feelings I've been having lately- it's so heavy."

"When we get back to Seoul, you should really go see a doctor. We're all very concerned about you, so you need to be healthy. If you don't enjoy performing anymore, you can always take a break."

After a very long day, we finally went back to the apartment and called in fast food delivery for a "little" midnight snack of Chipotle. Not the best idea to eat it this late and before a big performance, but it's what Junho wants.

We talked about random things and I tried talking nonsense, so that he'd get tired and eventually fall asleep.

It worked.

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Song: ALEPH (알레프) — No One Told Me Why