Bad Boy Benefits

(39)

Song Above: Cat Burns: Fool In Love.

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My life had turned utterly boring and I mean staring at the ceiling, watching the clock move kind of boring. It had been weeks since I'd spoken to Rose or Brody. I saw Ryan occasionally but we never spoke about what had happened at Rose's. It was difficult when it was his brother who had been cheated on by my best friend.

Exams had started, which meant I had an excuse to keep my head down and hide in the library. I spent my lunch there and my free periods.

Lessons were a lot harder when they were in my class. I'd grown accustomed to keeping my head forward and not participating in any conversation other than when the teacher asks a question. I'd become so good at it, even I was surprised.

Not that they'd even tried to speak to me anyway. Brody had disappeared off the face of the earth, he'd either turn up to lessons late or not even show. Rose hadn't even said a word to me since we'd caught her with Craig. I don't know whether it was out of embarrassment or what but I didn't even receive a call or text from her and I was angry.

Ryan hadn't heard Brody's confession, which I guess was a good thing, but he still kept some distance from me.

Maybe the whole situation fucked us all up in some way or another.

Every day I went home straight from school, locked my phone in my drawer and rewatched every TV show I'd ever witnessed. You'd think that would be fun, but it really wasn't.

My mom even noticed the change, which was rare. Laying in bed late at night was a killer. It was time my body decided to overload my mind with thoughts. I'd spend hours going over my conversation with Brody wishing I had said something to him, anything was better than nothing.

Shock does weird things to you.

I couldn't get the image of his face out of my head. It was constantly tormenting me, reminding me of how I broke his heart.

The school was the only time I could really distract myself.

I slumped into a seat at the back of the library and opened my textbook. I leaned over and rummaged through my bag for a pen. I heard the chair next to me screech against the floor and the sound of someone sitting down. I paused with the pen in my hand and slowly looked up to find Rose staring down at me.

She didn't look great, nor did she look awful. It depends on how you defined awful. Her hair was in a messy bun, she only had mascara on and she wore a hoodie and jeans. Her face was sullen and I had to stop myself from asking her if she was okay. We weren't on okay terms.

A sad smile formed on her lips, "I thought you'd be here,"

"I'll have to find a new spot," I said, twisting in my chair and pretending to pay attention to my textbook.

She let out a sigh, "Everyone is mad at me, including you,"

My headshot to the side so fast I was surprised I didn't break my neck, "And why do you think that is?"

"I know and I'm sorry about it," She put her hand to her face in shame, "It just happened, it wasn't planned. Brody's practice overran and Craig offered to drive me home. We started talking and I forgot that I liked him, and he actually pays attention to me, Ivy. Brody is there but it feels like his mind isn't. We've never even slept together. I thought it was because he wanted to wait for the right moment, but after a while I realized it wasn't, he was just waiting for someone else," Her voice shook and she took a deep to steady herself, "Craig actually wants me. We never planned on getting together,"

"But you did," I pointed out, "You did get together and you didn't tell Brody, god you didn't even tell me and I'm your best friend,"

"I couldn't tell you, you would tell Brody, I know you would Ivy,"

"No I wouldn't" I threw my hands up in frustration, "You are my best friend Rose, or were," My voice cracked at the end and I could see Rose's eyes widen.

"Am I not your best friend anymore?"

I shook my head and said even though it broke my heart, "No, not anymore,"

"So you are just going to ice me out over one little mistake?" Her expression and body hardened. I hated this, we didn't fight, we never fought really but that was the past Ivy and Rose, so much had changed since then.

"It's not a little mistake Rose, you slept with someone else, god knows how many times when you have a boyfriend, that's not right,"

She narrows her eyes, "And you are so innocent?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She laughed with no humor, "You don't think I didn't see you and Brody kiss at the escape room,"

My eyes widened, my heart thumped in my chest and I was suddenly overcome with heat.

She knew. She bloody knew. How? What? Where? It didn't make any sense. She wasn't in our room, there was no way-

The door had creaked open when I had won and if she was waiting on the other side she would have seen.

Oh god.

"You act like you are so innocent and could do no wrong and I'm bad for cheating when you've done the exact same thing," She spat.

"Rose ah urm it was-wasn't-" She put her hand up in order to stop the words tumbling from my mouth.

"Save it Ivy, I don't really care," She sucked in a harsh breath, "Who was I to think I could ever compete against you when it came to him, I was always going to lose, just wished you didn't act as you hated him all the time, at least then I would know there could be a possibility of you snaking me,"

"I didn't snake you-"

"You didn't? Cus I think kissing your best friends boyfriend is a bit snaky, surprised you haven't slept with him,"

I swallowed the bile that had formed at the back of my throat, this was the perfect moment to tell her I had, but if I did I knew that would be it, there would be no going back.

She shook her said, "I never thought it would be like this,"

I felt my stomach twist and I wanted to take this year away, erase it and start from the beginning. It would be just Rose and me, taking on the world, none of this drama and none of this heartache.

"Rose, I'm so so-"

"Save it, Ivy, what's done is done," She got up from her seat, looked at me with all the pain and hurt in the world and walked away.

That was the second time I had broken someone's heart including my own.