Bad Boy Benefits

(61)

Song Above: Best You Never Had

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IVY

The light hurt, the air around me felt cold no matter how many blankets I covered myself with and I couldn't shake this dull ache I felt in the pit of my chest.

If this is what it feels like to have your heart broken I'd rather not have a heart at all.

I'd spent the last couple of days in the cocoon I had created for myself in my bed. I'd become the person I hated, the person I'd even made fun of and I was embarrassed. I'd scrolled through social media to see if I'd find that green icon saying he was online, checking Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook stories, all the while I was eating leftover pizza with The Notebook in the background. I'd checked my phone a hundred times, even hidden it in drawers and under my bed in order to stop checking but admitted defeat in the end.

I was a sorry excuse for a human being.

"Right you need to get up," My mom stormed into my room unexpectedly and pulled back my curtains. I let out a moan and shielded my eyes from the light pooling into my room.

She stood in the center dodging the piles of clothes and plates that were scattered across the carpet and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyebrow raised as she stared at my pathetic attempt of hiding amongst the duvets.

"Ivy Evette Jones," Oh god she full named me, "You and I need to have words. You can't hide in this room forever," She grabbed hold of the end of my duvet and yanked it from me.

I frailed my legs in the air, attempting to cover myself. I wasn't naked but I might as well have been in the white t-shirt I'd stolen from Brody's. It smelled like him.

I was in the pain and guilt stage of the seven stages of grief. I'd listen to Beyonce, Pink, Mariah Carey, and many more strong independent artists on my Spotify playlist. I'd eaten gallons of Ben and Jerry's, my hair was a chaotic mess on top of my head and I don't think I'd seen the light of day until now.

She dropped the duvet to the floor, her eyes skimming over the t-shirt I was wearing and sighed.

"I knew that boy was trouble just like his father," She picked up a pile of my clothes, moved them onto the chair in the corner of my room and started to fold them, "First he gets you suspended from school," She looked directly at me in a disapproving manner, "We still need to talk about that... then he leaves you to walk home looking the way you did, I know you might not see it but this is a blessing in disguise,"

I felt a surge of annoyance flow through me. Even though Brody was not in my good books, she had no right to talk about him the way she did. She hadn't been around, this was probably the most time I'd spent with her in years and she had the audacity to try and interfere with my life.

She had lost that privilege when she stopped behaving like my mother.

"Brody isn't as bad as you are making him out to be," I didn't mean for my voice to sound abrupt but it had taken me by surprise. I shouldn't have defended him but I was weak.

She paused her folding, I could see the muscles in her back tense and she slowly turned towards me, "You are defending him?"