Bad Boy Benefits

(63)

Song Above: Patient

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BRODY

There are only so many times I could cry before I started to feel like a pussy.

I cried the day my mom died, granted I was young so that doesn't count, I cried with Ivy and now I'm crying over Ivy.

How ironic.

I was leaning over the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee to brew and without any warning whatsoever my eyes were spilling over like a broken dam. I had to grab a napkin to hide the evidence in case my stepmom walked in or worse my father.

I wasn't too sure if he were aware of the fact I'd been staying in the cabin, or whether he cared. As long as I were out of his sight he probably couldn't give a shit. I liked it that way. I wasn't going to walk on eggshells around him and I'd be dammed if I let him see I was afraid.

He could beat me till I was black and blue and I still wouldn't flinch, I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction.

I rubbed at my eye with the napkin cursing as I did. If you'd told me before that I would be crying over a girl I'd had laughed in your face but look at me now.

I'd turned into a walking, talking wet wipe.

I'd told her I never wanted to see her again, which was a lie.

The irritating irrational side of me took over and yet again I said things I didn't mean. You'd think I would have learned by now but nope, still making the same god damn stupid mistakes.

I'd hurt her, hurt her more than you should someone you love and I was paying for it, big time. I felt sick, my heart had this constant ache and I couldn't stop seeing her face in my mind and in everything that I do.

The sound of the coffee machine alert pulled me out of my thoughts and I pushed myself off the counter with my palms. I turned my body to grab the sugar and paused, my body tensing.

Stood in the doorway was Ryan. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but by the look on his face, he'd been there long enough.

"Can I help you?" I said curtly.

"No," He replied back in the same tone. He walked over to the coffee machine and the bastard poured himself a cup.

"Make yourself at home," I mumbled, bumping his shoulder as I made myself a cup and I ignored the curse he said under his breath.

He walked over to the breakfast table, pulled a chair out and sat down. I leaned against the counter, using both hands to hold the cup and feeling the warmth on my skin.

We were silent for a while and I liked it.

Whenever he opened his mouth it pissed me off.

"You fucked things up with Ivy I guess?" I spoke too soon.

I let out a low groan, "This has nothing to do with you, Ryan,"

"You're right it doesn't," He put his hands up, "But I wished I'd put money on it,"

I put my coffee on the side and stepped forward my hands balled into fists, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You haven't got a track record of keeping a relationship Brody, and also come on you never really cared about her,"

Was he looking for a fight?

I felt my jaw clench, "You have no idea how I felt about her so I'd keep that mouth shut unless you want a repeat of what happened last time,"