Chapter 47 - The Church

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My legs were pushing myself to the back, putting all the strength I had in me. There were no words to tell how painful it was; having my neck squeezed tight that felt like it was going to break. But that wasn't the only pain I had to experience. It was being unable to breathe was the worst. I never got myself into that kind of physical pain before as if my lungs and heart were about to burst, literally.

And I remembered having my vision blurred no matter how many times I blinked. It was almost like every system in my body was shutting down one by one in a spilt second when oxygen could no longer reach my brain at that point.

I just couldn't breathe anymore. I couldn't inhale anything. The pressure around my neck was extremely high and there was nothing left in me that I could use to fight for my life.

Even if the death is planned, and that idea is already planted in our minds beforehand, our brains just automatically switch it and make us panic anyway. They force us to struggle, no matter how painful it already is, and adding more strength to hopes and beliefs that we could still be freed, be saved, is what making it even more torturing.

Even our brains are afraid of death, pushing us to defend ourselves with everything we have to stay alive.

So tell me, Chae, how important this life is?

Because I have found my answer to that, my baby, and it is nothing near as important as you. I could die over and over again, just for you.

It was pitch-black. Everything was just dark like I was placed a room with black painted walls. But it wasn't for long. I didn't even get the time to have another panic attack when lights just entered my eyes, making me shut them to the stinging pain that was close to opening eyes towards the sun.

I could hear my own voice as I groaned, feeling the soreness in my whole body. My hands and legs were aching but they were not as dominant as my excruciating neck pain. When my brain started to register more senses and my body was introduced to those hurtful effects, only then everything hit my mind in the form of memories.

I slowly remembered what happened to me and stuffs I had to do next.

Wincing, I tried to make my very first move and that made me realise I was actually lying on something. I obviously wasn't standing up, nor sitting on anything, but lying flat as I could feel my whole back pressed on the gravitational force.

I blinked, repetitively, seeing small lights at first and my vision became clearer when I was getting the bravery back to open my eyelids bigger in the process. If it was all black earlier, it was a lot different after since everything around me was illuminated by a red-orangey kind of colour.

Groaning, I forced myself to get up since I didn't want to stay down anymore. Thoughts came into my mind that my plan worked. Even with the heavy headache I was experiencing that made me a little bit confused, I just knew that it worked.

I had crossed over to a different dimension.

My eyes wandered around, telling me that I recognised the building I was in. It was definitely the church that Chae and I used to go every Sunday morning back in Paddington. It was the same church I went in, alone after Chae died and I got mad at her God.

The truth was, I expected an infinity ocean of volcanic burning lava kind of view right in front of me when I imagined how hell looked like. But I couldn't say I was disappointed either because the heat had begun to intimidate my skin and dry up my throat into the cruelest thirst I had ever tasted. It was so hot in there as if I was thrown into an extremely high pressured steam room. That was how I acknowledged myself to be in a place I wished to go; the hell.

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