Chapter 23 - The Chase

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I had been resting on this bed for hours, didn't want to associate myself with anything else. My left cheek was pressed onto the head pillow, arms hugging it at the same time as I was lying on my stomach. This was a very uncomfortable position for me to have in bed since I had always been a side sleeper. But I got a very good reason for doing it, which was I didn't want to sleep.

The clock on the side table showed me that it was already 5 in the morning and those 10 empty cans of hard, cold brew coffee scattered on the study table were the cause of my consciousness. The bedsheet I was lying on was messy and rumpled, and I couldn't be bothered to tidy up anything, ignoring the other pillows that were left alone on the floor. That was because I only needed one to lie on, drenching it with an unimaginable amount of tears it had absorbed for hours now.

Burying my face in the pillow, I wailed even more when I remembered about the one I needed the most. She was also the same one who I didn't have with me. I didn't have her shoulder to lay my miserable self on. I didn't have her arms to throw broken pieces of me into. And I certainly didn't have her love for mine to make a soulmate with. 

The last time I was this wretched was when the death of my girlfriend pushed my soul out of my body, making me feel like I had died with even more breath to take afterwards. It made me feel like I was cursed with life, forced to live in this world longer than she did so that I would suffer more without her in it.  This time it took the same yet different person to do the same to my shattered heart, cutting it open while it was still beating. And when I said this Lisa was more capable of breaking hearts than the others, I really meant it because nothing else had pained me like this before.

Not even her previous death hurt me the way she declined my attempt to kiss her.

I was too heartbroken to sleep and travel into that universe again, having to face her if she came to my stall. So I just stayed in my place, crying my eyes out and causing sorrow to the Chae in there as well. That was because I couldn't feel any happiness in her even though it was her turn to handle Lisa. It got me thinking if we were one now, considering she was no longer delighted to have Lisa around. It must be hard for her to bear the sadness in there since it wasn't me who had to see Lisa again after the distressing lunch incident.

But only when I was pulled into that universe, unintentionally, I discovered that drinking lots of coffee had failed to keep me awake. It was useless after all, considering the amount of pain I had caused to my swollen eyes. Crying for long hours did make me sleepy, and that was what brought me to my cooking station, feeling the cold water running on my hands as the Chae in here was probably doing some cleaning before I jumped in.

I was right when I looked down and saw the unwashed woks, so I resumed the cleaning while listening to Natalie's voice coming from behind.

"Are you alright?"

"Hmmm?" I turned my head to her as she appeared to my vision.

"I was talking to you"

"What was it again?"

"I asked if you can clear my station too because I was cleaning the back," She said, eyes looking a little worried. "You didn't respond to me"

"I'm sorry" I shook my head. "I wasn't listening. But sure, I'll clean the front"

Natalie hummed as her response, leaving the front section of the stall for me to take care of. I checked the time and it was already past six. That explained why we were cleaning since I was confused earlier. I only remembered myself lying on my bed, in the universe I was born in, then suddenly I was at the stall, working. I didn't know what time or what day it was, let alone the date. But I was glad I didn't jump in and it was just the start of the day. I was glad that I didn't have to go through the morning to evening just to come home again.

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