• Bts Angst •

「 yoongi 」

Guys,

I AM FREAKING BACK

Yoongi's POV
Sleep..sleep..sleep

Fuck sleep

I got up from my bed and walked down stairs. Looking at the clock, it's 4:15 am and my school starts at 7. I sighed and stretched my body.

I went to the bathroom and took a nice warm shower and brushed my teeth. After that i went downstairs and watched some tv for awhile until it's 5:20 am.

I took my keys, my bag, my phone and stuff then went outside my apartment. Wondering how the fuck am i still alive. Then my eyes landed on the door infront of me.

Oh yeah.

Because of her.

It's been miserabley 1 year since I met her. And if im gonna be completely honest, it wasn't great at all. For the past year, all i had been doing was trying to survive.

If your wondering who is the 'her' im mentioning

Well her..uhh how do i say this

She is the one who actually saved me from depression. She was the one who told me to never give up and killing myself Is such a fucking dumb idea. Nobody could stop me from killing or hurting myself except for her.

I don't exactly know how did she stop me from doing stupid things.

I don't even remember how did I agree to let her help me. I guess i was just really miserable and got no choice but to let her help me. I was lonely.

And i was planning to end my life soon. So why not have a little bit fun. I didn't want to end my life before not doing anything stupider than killing myself. I just practically gave up trying. And just let her do what she wants to do.

And I will admit i was thankful that i had met her. No regrets at all. Though i just practically bumped into her in the elevator, still i always thought that it was destiny.

And i always thought since then that maybe the world really wanted us to meet each other.

And it actually helped the both of us. Not just me. It took s lot of healing. It was fun. Recalling those days is now making me realise more things I don't actually want to know. I wish i could stop myself. But I can't.

And i wish i could go back. Still..I can't

The sad part was we didn't even realise we were already making memories when we were just having fun.

For the first time that we saw each-other, i remember feeling annoyed as hell. It was just another bad day for me. But for her i think it wasn't. And when she talked to me, i stand corrected.

She was very annoying as hell.

But it took me a lot of time to realise that in that moment was actually the start of my life beginning to change. Meeting her was the moment i would never forget until my last breath. And the very last moment that i saw her..I won't forget it either.

Who would've thought that my life would turn upside down by just one girl? I never thought that i'd actually get attached to her. But there i was, following her every step. Laughing along with her cheesy jokes. There were even times where we'd just cry.

It was like as if we were meant to be with each other. But now, I don't know if i should still believe that.

The world really must hate me. This is why hate trying new things, meeting new people. They'd just leave in the end. Then they'll take a big part of you. A part of you that will never come back.

Everything goes.

Nothing really stays.

Whatever.

I guess that's how life really works. I hate it..i hate it so much. The fact that I can't even do anything to get back. I wish i know how.

This is stupid..missing her wont definitely make her come back. Even begging is useless. Who can i beg to? She's not here. She's not with me. So how could i beg her to come back.

I want her back, but i made a promise. I promised her that I won't look back ever again. I promised her that i will continue living no matter what happens. I promised her that i won't beg her to come back.

Because doing so wouldn't be such a great idea for her.

Flashback

"Don't look back, okay? Don't beg for me to come back" A smile made it's way to her delicate lips. Tears made it's way to her eyes. And her hands made it's way to my cheeks.

"W-why"

"Because if you do so..I don't think i could ever leave you."

End of flashback

I could still hear her. The way she calls for my name. Her laugh, her smile. Her eyes. It was captivating. She's like a delicate flower that i want to keep for the rest of my life. A flower that i want to take care of.

I really didn't want her to go. But we had no choice. I had no choice..but to accept it.

It's just awful.

I just hope now that she's happy. I hope she's living well, even without me.

I miss her.

I miss her so bad.

Will the world be good and let us meet each other again? Even just for a moment?

I want to see her.

I wish i could see her.

And if i do i'll beg. No matter what. On my knees, me holding her hand, begging. I don't care if i break my promise. If thats what it takes to get her back, then I'd do it.

All i could do now is wait. Wait for the world to be good.