until you came along//t. chalamet

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I didn't want Timothée to feel weird about me crying about my ex who died. I didn't tell him about Johnny at first because I thought he was gonna get mad or something. I don't know. I was dumb for thinking that.

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@daisy_younglove: i'm sorry for what i said and i regret not apologizing. i hope you can forgive me. i love you and i'll miss you. fly high.

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  I laid in bed once again. I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been having really vivid dreams about him. I miss him. I feel really bad for saying the things I said. Nat called me yesterday. We both knew him so guess he wanted to see how I was doing.
  I need to change. I can't be like this anymore. I need to get out of this bed. It's rough but I need to move on. I need to really stop crying. It hurts but it's about to be 2 months of me like this. I feel like Timothée is tired of me. He's going to end up leaving me. I don't want that.
  I finally get out of bed and look for Timothee's hoodie. I find it and grab some leggings. I grab a fresh pair of underwear and a bra. I turn on the water to the shower and walk in.
  After my shower I get dried and put a towel in my hair. I change into my outfit and then put on my Air Forces. I brush out my hair and put it in a bun. I put on my moisturizer. Curl my lashes. Put some lipgloss. Brush out my eyebrows and grab my bag. I grab my phone and grab my purse.
  I called my hairstylist and I head out of my apartment. I put on my sunglasses and get into my car. I begin to drive to my hairstylist house. When I get there she greets me with a smile. I lock my car up and walk to her. She smiles and gives a hug.
  "Hi baby, how you doing?"
  "Hey...I'm trying to get better."
  "Everything's gonna be ok honey."
  We begin to walk to her house. Once we're in her house, she sits me down and begins to take all the stuff she needs.
  "So what are we doing today?" I pull out my phone and show her a picture. "Oh baby that's going to look really good on you."

***

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@daisy_younglove: younglove

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  I brush out my hair and and look in the mirror. This is just what I needed. I needed a new look. I turn on the candles in my room. I grab my blanket and lay in bed. Timothée's coming out late today. And I don't know at what time. It was currently 11pm. Maybe he's not coming over tonight.
  I grab the control remote and put on some oldies. I begin to drift into a deep sleep. Smelling Timothee's hoodie.

***

  I wake up as I feel an arm around my waist. I turn on the light fast and see Timothée. I check the time and it's 1 am.
  "What the fuck Timothée?"
  "Sorry baby."
  "I almost punched you."
"I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's fine."
I go back to laying down with him but face him this time.
"How was your day?" I say in the dark.
"Tiring...how was yours?"
"It was fine."
"I like the new color."
"You do?"
"Yeah, it's looks really cute."
"Thanks."
He wraps his arms around my waist and I can feel his lips on my neck. A moan escapes my lips. Wow. Timothée is really "tired". I run my hands through his hair.
We haven't had sex in like 3 months. I feel bad. He must really be sexually frustrated. I just haven't been feeling in the mood. Anytime Timothée kisses me I start to think about Johnny. All the bad things I said. But for once I want to stop thinking about Johnny. I miss Timothée. He's been with me a lot but I just miss him. I miss being able to kiss and not think about Johnny.
I can feel Timothée getting hard on my leg as he gets on top of me. My hand travels from his hair to his bulge making him stop kissing on my neck.
"You sure you want to Daisy?"
"Yes...I need you."
"Daisy...you don't need to do this if you're not ready."
"But I am."
"You sure?"
"Yes now shut up and kiss me."
Timothée leans in and we begin to kiss. We haven't kissed like this in a while and I have missed it. Our tongues dancing with each other as we undress each other. Let's just say we went to sleep a little late.