until you came along//t. chalamet

~35~

  I held my drink as I enjoyed being here my friends. I came to this party with my friend hoping for some fun. I'm still sad about Daisy. I see her every time in my dreams. Every time I close my eyes. I randomly get flashbacks about Daisy and I. I haven't been able to do much. Well like socialize and stuff. I've started working on this movie so I guess that's good. I hope Daisy is doing good. I hope she finds someone who won't break her heart. It wasn't my intention to ever hurt her. I love her. I wouldn't hurt her. But I did. And all because I couldn't control my dick. Fuck. I saw that Daisy died her hair blonde. Why did she look more hot?

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@daisy_younglove: back and better

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I roll my eyes and try to ignore the fact that everyday I have woke up and check her instagram. To see if she'd post anything. Ansel thought it would be a great idea if he would bring a friend and try to hook me up with her. I wasn't interested. I just wanted Daisy.
I took a sip of my drink and watched as Pauline left. My eyes followed her and found that she was walking to....Daisy. She was here. Wait. Am I hallucinating? I think I'm going insane.
They finally hug and I realize she was actually here. She looks really good. That dress looks really nice. It used to be one my favorite dress. Does she still remember?
They talk for a few minutes and then they hug again. I pay no attention to Pauline anymore and watch as Daisy goes back to her friend. I watch as her fiend looks back at me which makes me look away really fast. Fuck. She knows I'm watching her.
"Hey do you want another drink?" Victoria asks me as her hand is on my back.
"No thanks." I say dryly. I didn't want to be rude but I didn't want to be here with her. Victoria leaves and goes to get another drink. I watch as Daisy leans against the wall. I feel like a stalker but I haven't seen her in months. A few minutes later she's walking up the stairs. I turn around and pretend to be looking at Ansel. Ansel starts looking at me weird. I was really hoping that she would look at me. But she just looked down at her phone.
"Dude, we literally came here so you could forget her not want her more." Ansel says.
"Maybe it's a sign."
"Maybe she wants to talk to you." Pauline tells me.
"She doesn't...I hurt her."
"Maybe she's changed her mind...just saying that you guys should talk."
"You think?"
"Sure, why not? She's a really kind person Timothée."
"I know that Pauline."
I take my drink and drink all of it. I wanted to go but I didn't want to go right away. I waited a few minutes. Then it turned into 10. Then 15. Then finally, I got the courage to do it. Plus the conversation was getting boring. My sister cheered for me which made me laugh.
I walked to the balcony but stopped on my tracks as I saw Daisy talking to a guy. They were really close. Like face to face. And this guy was like really tall. He was taller than me. I watched as Daisy closed her eyes. I can't watch this.
Soon Daisy was being kissed by this fucker. Who even is he? I don't want to know. It's fine. It's fine. I cheated on her and I deserve this. I deserve being treated like shit.
I walked away and immediately grabbed a drink. I drank all of Victoria's drink. She stood up and then I grabbed her face lightly. My lips met hers. If Daisy was moving on, I could move on too.
  As I kissed Victoria all what I was thinking of was Daisy. I remembered how her lips always tasted like strawberries. Her skin was always soft. I really enjoyed kissing her. But I wasn't kissing Daisy. Daisy is outside kissing this 6 foot tall guy. I don't even know who the fuck he is. I pulled away from Victoria as I saw Daisy. She was laughing with the guy. He held her hand and smiled at her. That's supposed to be me.
  I was much better looking then him obviously. Although his hair was curlier then mine. And his earring was cool. Wait no, what the fuck. Stop looking at them.
  I grabbed Victoria's hand and I started walking towards the stairs.

***

  I woke up in an empty bed. Flashbacks from a few hours ago were playing in my head. I had accidentally said Daisy's name when I came. And Victoria left right away. I was too sad to even give a fuck. That sounds really shitty but ever since Daisy...and I broke up, I don't give any fucks.
I groaned and got up. I headed to the bathroom. I did my business and then brushed my teeth. I did not want to go out at all. Maybe I should just sleep all day. Yeah I just want to sleep all day. I can't though. I have a photoshoot. I should try to look good at least. But the image of Daisy and the guy kissing was stuck in my head.
I guess I'll have to suffer. Come Timothée, move on.