until you came along//t. chalamet

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@daisy_younglove: already miss my dark hair..

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  I'm the worst. I really am. I'm supposed to be with Timothée...not with Arón. It's just that I'm a stuck up bitch. Timothée's right...I love him. And I really don't know how to leave Arón. He's been the nicest guy ever. He's patience. He's sweet. He's really just a great guy.
  That's why I can't tell him. I can't break him. No, he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this unhappiness. He deserves the world. But I can't be in it.
  I smile at Itzan next to me. I kind of zoned out. But everything's fine. It's been a week in Spain, and it has been so much fun. Expect for the part where in the back of my mind, Timothée is calling me name. Everything was going to be prefect until Timothée showed up and-
  "Estáis bien?" (Are you good?) Itzan asked.
  "Por supuesto." (Of course) I answered with a smile. Probably the fakest. Nah I've done a faker smile than that.
  "Hey, sorry I took so long." Arón smiles at us and hands me a margarita.
  "Thanks." I kiss his cheek after he sits next to me. Some of the cast couldn't come tonight, they were either still shooting or were going to shoot really really early.
  The whole night I felt really guilty. But I didn't want to spoil the fun. I don't want to loose Arón. He's really a great guy...and I at least just want to be friends with him.

***

  Arón's alarm woke me up. He was still sleeping and I knew I couldn't go back to sleep. Plus tonight we were going to a party. With the whole cast and crew of Elite. But first he had to go a shoot some scenes. I sigh and get up. I have to do it today. I have to leave him. I just can't keep lying to him. I'm done. But I don't know when to do it.
"Arón...levántate." (Arón...get up) I blow air on his neck.
"Joder...don't do that." He says and I can tell I scared him.
"Well get up, if not you're going to be late."
"Fine." I smile and realize this probably the last time he'll ever want to see me. He's going to hate me. I've been lying to him and he's going to hate me for it...I just already know it. "You ok Daisy?" Arón asks.
"Yeah...I'm just still tired."
"Yeah me too...come one lay with me." He smile at me. I can't help but I fall back into the bed. Sinking into the mattress as Arón's arms wrap around me. I feel so warm...and just forgot about everything.
Until...I start feeling like shit again. And I remember Timothée. I smile at him and get up.
"No, as much as I'd wish to, you have to go."
"Yeah yeah I know." He finally gets up and goes into the bathroom. I'm the biggest lying bitch.

***

I throw my hands up in the air and smile. It's barely 11 pm and the night just started. In a few minutes Arón would soon be ok the club but I had already started drinking.

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@daisy_younglove: don't ask me

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I smiled at Danna who started dancing with me and passed me my drink.
"Are you ok girl?" She yelled over the loud music.
"I've never been better!" I say cheering for no reason. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I was going to loose this all soon. Loose the late nights with Arón and his friends. Loose the love Arón has for me. I was going to loose it. But I was going loose for a good reason. I want to be with Timothée. I want to give him a second chance.
I can't just continue to be with Arón and casually hook up with Timothée every other night. Timothée doesn't deserve that. Arón doesn't deserve that. But most importantly I shouldn't be hurting them. And I'm hurting myself too honestly. I can't just keep this bottled up.
I feel hands slowly going up on my waist and I immediately turn around. I smiled once I know its Arón. He pecks my lips and I don't even have time to move before he kisses my lips. But I try not to make it noticeable.
"Hey!" I say.
"Hey I missed you!" I smile and take his hand. We walk to the corner we were staying at and gave Arón a drink.
"Bottoms up!" I say and smile at him. We both might need it for the rest of the night.
As the night goes on I try and try to build up the courage to tell him. Whenever we got to be alone I would try and tell him but I couldn't.
Finally, at around 1 am, I stopped dancing and grabbed his hand. He looked weird at me and I felt myself getting tired.
  "I don't love you, Arón." Before I could say anything else , I felt myself fall on him. I think I had too much to drink.