until you came along//t. chalamet

•31•

I can feel Mya's arms around me as I cry. I can't believe Timothée would do something like that. I thought he loved me. I really thought this time that someone loved me.
"It's ok baby." Mya said as I just cried and cried.
"I thought he really loved me this time bitch."
"Dicks will be dicks."
"I loved him Mya!"
"I know baby...I know you did."
"I still love him..."
"I know..."
I close my eyes tight and just feel everything around me disappear. I can hear myself breath in and out. In. And out. I hug Mya as if she's a teddy bear. And I just keep doing that.

***

It's been 2 weeks since I found out Timothée cheated on me. I haven't been able to eat. And that says a lot because I love food. But I just haven't been feeling like it. I've been mostly sleeping. I decided to stay with Mya for a bit before going back home...where Timothée and I used to sleep. And make love and all of those things. I still had my bracelet. I wonder if he still had his.
Of course he doesn't. He's just probably with Cassie. Mya had told me he had come many times. She told me she found him on the doorstep sleeping. She woke him up and he said he didn't want to leave with out me. You know that just made me feel worse. But I don't want to be hurt anymore. I really don't.
Mya walked in the room with her arms crossed.
"Hey baby...you ready?" Mya had told me last night that she felt bad but she couldn't have me here anymore. Her parents were coming over. And plus she also wanted to start getting up. But I'm not ready just yet.
"Yeah...is he here?" I asked as I finally got up. I grabbed my stuff in the suitcase that she had brought me a few days ago.
"Yeah he's outside...come on baby." She helped me as I walked. I hadn't eaten much this week and I was feeling really weak. To even walk.
"I'm good." I said as I tried to walk without her. She still walked behind me though. Just incase I fell. I opened the front door and smiled as I saw Alex. I felt like I was at home and he smiled back.
"You look like shit Daisy."
"Yeah tell me about it." He chuckled and grabbed my suitcase. I closed my eyes taking in the sun. I hadn't seen the sun either. I turn back to look at Mya.
"Thanks Mya...you always been there for me...I owe you."
"You don't...and it was no problem, I did it because you're my best friend and I love you with all my heart."
"I love you too." I held her hands and smiled. I gave her a big hug.
"Take care baby, text me if you need to talk whenever."
"Yeah I will, I love youuu." I say as Alex and I begin to walk to his car.
"I love you tooo." I hear her say and I wave. Alex helps me get in his car. He closes the door after me and I don't know why but I kind of left. Like my soul left my body. It was like a dream. I could see a woman dancing by a lake. It was my mom. I got closer and closer. Finally, I was face to face with her. She softly touched my cheek. And smiled. I smiled and hugged her as I cried.
"Hey you good?" Alex drove me out of my daydream.
"Yeah." I smile lightly after I put my seatbelt on and he begins to drive. Oh how I wish my mother was here...I really miss her. "Hey does Nat know I'm going to be at your apartment?"
"I haven't really told him but I don't think he's coming over...so don't worry."
"Ok." I smile and look out the window. I really want to stop feeling like this but...I can't. Maybe I just need time. Yeah that's what I need.