Diary? Idk..

Food is really unatractive

Tw: There really ain't one but just be warned this is a bit 'gross' or 'descriptive'

Food is really unattractive

I get a few bites into a meal and then I feel full and sick that if I take another bite I will throw up..

I've started putting less cereal in my bowl and I skip lunch, I barley eat dinner and I'm never hungry..

Just thinking about being full is making me sick

And I thought at first it was because I ate slow

So I ate quicker

And that didn't help

So here's a basis on what I did:

Ate slowly and focus on watching a movie in my iPad but still ate - somewhat worked

Ate quickly but focus on my iPad - nope

Ate slowly without a focus, just focusing on eating - really badly backfired

Ate fast with no focus - again nope

Nothing works and I just don't want to eat.. food just isn't appealing

Sure I wanna eat

But I just can't-

I just wanna cough it up sometimes or just not eat it because I hate feeling sick (idm actually being sick)

sometimes when I eat my breakfast (a cup of cereal) I start feeling sick, I added less milk and it didn't change anything

Maybe I just can't be bothered

I'm worried

Because I have no motivation for work

I haven't done any work

And I'm REALLY behind

There's a bunch of overdue stuff

I'm avoiding smhw

And I really don't want to ft my friends because I don't know how long I can be happy for- them worrying about me will just make me more determined to torture myself and make myself feel sick to make them happy..

I will get better

But just not today