Diary? Idk..

When you ___

When you've been so fucking sad and lazy that you've been junk eating then not eating for a day to make up for it, and you've been doing that for two weeks

Then you realise it doesn't matter anyway because your gunna die by your o n accord or by something normal and you'll be forgotten and you don't matter and you should just hide in your bed a cry

When you haven't been doing any of your school work

Because you don't have any motivation and your struggling to the hope that you'll make it through

Then you get ill and be sick and your body hurts a lot and everything hurts mentally and physically and you want to stop the pain and self harm and watch the blood drip down your arm but then you can't bring yourself to do it because your scared you'll mess up and hit a vein and then you'll have to be saved-

Then you start crying about the fact that you miss your mum and she doesn't miss you at all and she never will and she's over it and she doesn't care but you can't get over everything that happened almost 2 years ago because your pathetic

But you have school work to do- so you randomly hang up on your friend because you feel like your gunna be sick- and they remind you of who you were back when everything happened.

Then you feel disappointed year you let yourself down that you haven't done any work- and looking at the not submitted shit is making you feel more scared and making you feel anxious-

Then someone who you trust tells you "just get over yourself and do it it's not that hard"

So you realise there a toxic friend  but you don't want to get rid of them because they used to be an amazing friend

So you stop talking to him

Then your realise everyone else is fine and doing the work and they've done it and there not failing or being a sad depressing fucking slag like you are, and I get you need to get over yourself because this is all pathetic

Then you realise nobody cares

And that you should stfu because there are many people that have it worse and your problems are insignificant

So you put music on full volume and cry