Diary? Idk..

Please.. why.. why now?

It is 4am exactly

And I need to be at my nans for 1-1:30ish

But I'm gunna sleep in because I can't sleep

I just led there for a while (I think 30-40 minuets?) in complete silence

And I think it's cramps

But I can't fucking lie down any longer

I need to be sat up

But I can't sleep sat up

So I'm fucked

And I wanna cry but I also just wanna sleep

Why the fuck does this have to happen on the worst days?

And everyone tells me it's because I'm on my phone constantly instead of trying to sleep

I'm not always on my phone actually

I could lie here four three hours and just think without falling asleep because I just can't somedays

But I go on my phone and listen to soft music to make sure I don't drive myself insane or to doing something stupid

Ugh everything sucks.

I wrote a full story of just 30 odd rants on my Instagram (my private one ;-;)

And I then deleted it 30 minuets later because I knew nobody would see it for atleast another couple hours

And I thought it would make em feel better to get it out my head but it didn't

Nothing changed

I just wanna sleep :(

Fgs insomnia fuck off and go disturb someone else