Diary? Idk..

Comfortably numb

I wish there was a way to describe how I feel

Like a happy song with depressing lyrics

Like bullet (by Hollywood undead) or help (by pink guy)

The tunes are so happy but the lyrics are so depressing

It's brilliant

I don't need to get out of bed today

I can just sit here and enjoy the warmth

Had a nightmare last night

I'm not gunna describe it because I don't want to remember even though I do

If I leave my bed I have to deal with everything

So all I have to do is just turn over face my wall and close my eyes then nothing exists

I don't have to tidy my room
I don't have to do work
I don't have to eat
I don't have to drink
I don't have to shower
I don't have to exsist anymore

I can just stay here and be alone

But fuck

I have a stupid English meeting today

Fun

Maybe I should be 'aStHeTiC' and do a 'sELfCaRe' thing

Like what's the fucking point

I have to leave my safety to go to the bathroom, put on a bunch of shit creams and face masks

And then I'm suppose to feel better

If the bags under my eyes described how I looked I think I'd be fucked

At least I don't have to show my face on the call

But I did miss the last call

I look like fucking Virgil from sanders sides

Like I have black eyeshadow under my eyes but it's blended in and it looks more natural

Jesus

Great this is just great

My dads gunna expect my room tidy

I have to finish of the 42+ pieces of work because of my stupid lazy ass

And I have a call to do

And then I have to remember the whole human things like eating and drinking showering and not pissing of my brother

Why is everything so hardddd

But as I usually say

Lmao who actually gives a fuck