Diary? Idk..

Step one and f everyone

Sometimes I wonder

Why the f*ck do I even do it anymore

Like life can suck my metaphorical dick

I'm just gunna stop talking to people, if they need me or actually want to talk to me.

Then they can put in the effort

I keep getting hurt and it's pissing me off

I want to just wrap my hands around their throat and scream at them untill they take their last breath.

Bleed them out by a stab to the back so they know how it feels to be hurt.

Slit a vein for them so they can bleed out while I remind them how much of a fucking bitch they are..

Jesus..

I'm 'seeing red' and I feel weird

I feel so angry and I'm so fucking fragile

And patheticlly sensitive

I killed a daddy long legs earlier

I finaly got over my fear (not really)

And I just stared at the bug blood (ish) on my wall

Like it's just a bug and all but I didn't even feel bad and I normally would (acceot for spiders)

There is something wrong with me 😂

Lmao take this person,, I'll call them x for simple reasons

We went from talking every second of the day

To every other week

I messaged them on the daily asking them how they are and shit

And x either respond with one word or they leave me on read

So what did I do?

I send them a lovely paragraph and delete there contact

And while I'm at it I might as well leave some group chats

I mean

Whenever i message everyone goes silent apart from one or two people

And I know they've read the message

So I guess I should just leave it

Besides it's all just part of my plan

And if and when my plans in action

They won't really miss me, they'll miss the old me

The lovely, kind, soft and caring girl

Welp I guess there expectations can be let down

Because I'm not that anymore

And if they wanna protest or give me their pathetic opinion

Guess what?

I didn't ask.

To be honest I was gunna end it there but nobody reads this so I can say what I want rn

I'll just remove it later like I've been doing

There's this bitch and she messages me everyday but she'll message me and then I'll ask her

Hey hru?

My two word message I send everyone who I cba with

And she responded

I'm ok

So I then asked her what she was up to

And she said

Nm

So I asked her if she was busy

And she said

No

So then I asked her how she was doing with school work

And she said gd

Like- if you don't wanna talk to someone

TELL T H E M FFS

Ok I'd rather have a conversation later when you can actually be asked to pay attention

Then talk to a fucking brick wall

And ok selfish move Ik

But nobody asks me anymore what I'm up to, how I am or anything I ask them

Like the bullshit these 'teachers' teach us

Treat people how you want to be treated

OH YES KAREN LEMME JUS IGNORE PEOPLE AND BE ASSHOLES

Then I'll be fucking equal

Like wow you backfired bitch

Most people ignore me

I just left all but two group chats

And y'know what

I'm feel awful :)

But I've done it know

Ik none of you want to know why I feel awful

But I'm gunna tell you :)

I'm just scared there gunna judge me or talk about me

But y'know what

Idc anymore

Lmao I'll fucking care when I'm dead.