Diary? Idk..

Gr8

Fuck trying to be clean

I mean I was watching Tokyo ghoul and a fucking blade fell out of nowhere

I'm not bullshitting

I genuinely got so scared

I don't know where it came from and at first I didn't want it

But then I got pissed off at him

He pushed my buttons like I'm some sort of fucking controller

He pisses me off

(There was a chapter before this but I took it down. Because I got a message I won't say who from or what it said but it proved my point I can't have an opinion that doesn't agree with society. So I'll take it down after this)

He told me I had no life and I was useless (in different words but that's exactly what he implied) then he blamed it on his own problems for lashing out

Like yeah we're all stressed but that's not an excuse to say shit

But I didn't cut then

I couldn't

I didn't trust myself to not push to far and just end this fucking life

I have reasons to live

And what good suicide do?

That's what a level head can think. when I'm not thinking strait it's different

suicide would just bring pain to everyone that knows me

And I have dreams I want to do or try

But it's not everyone else that has to suffer

I don't think people understand that

It's all good having someone tell you not to kill yourself

But it's not them that has to suffer if you don't

But oh well

Call em shower thoughts

I wouldn't kill myself

I'm weak

I'd probably chicken out anyway

I'm gunna go eat

So I don't die

Bye