Diary? Idk..

Hey.. dont do it.. please..

Those words ring in my head

Since I like writing emotions I'll just make up some story (unedited so it's shi-)

Footsteps drummed through the walls, the music filling my already busy head, why were the neighbours up? I don't really care, we never interact. I got up and grabbed the scissors from under my bed. Should I? I didn't have to tell anyone.. I pulled them to my arm and chose a spot, I let the music flow. There blunter than a blade so it didn't bleed as much as I wanted it to.

But after that first cut I knew I'd let myself down. I needed it. I'd broken so many rules and I had to obey them. Punishment was in order and I served it. Now I get to live with the lovely burning aftermath..

Drown my pain in water, it makes it burn more. I've let them down I might as well do it properly.

I felt guilty

I imagine how they would all feel if they found out

I don't know if I'll even post this

The burning on my arm and the ringing in my ear, the drowsy feeling plaguing my body, I just needed to sleep this off, I'll be able to build back my facade back up in the morning.

Nobody's awake anyway..

I'm starting to question wether it would matter if I didn't wake up in the morning

I just feel guilty

And so I should

The rules are bad, toxic- I'm well aware, but that doesn't make them any less harder to break

Heck I've only just started telling people

Certain people

You can't really trust anyone...

Anyway I'm gunna sleep cuz I can't keep my eyes open

Peace

And rip my 19 days of being clean..