omi°nct's c̶l̶o̶w̶n̶ princess

cuts - pt.ten

[trigger warning; self harm]

  Naomi awakes from her sleep drenched in sweat and fatigued. Her muscles are tense and she looks around her room- vision blurry while her mouth is as dry as sandpaper. 

  She wobbly stands and tries to approach the door but stumbles- crashing into the stool of her dressing table while hands press on the surface to support her legs. 

  Panting, she lifts her head up to start walking again and instead, catches a glimpse of her reflection. Still in the same hoodie as before but some of the concealer are wiped up from her sweat and constant tosses and turns from her bothered sleep. 

  She notices new hickeys and bite marks- instantly making her plummet while tears stream down her cheeks. 

  As she silently sobs with her knees stuck to her chest, she stretches out her arm and pulls open her drawer- obtaining the pair of razors she has inside.

  Slowly, she nears it to her exposed arm, creating one line and the dark blood seeps out. 

  Then, she makes another and another- watching as the blood oozes out and droplets fall onto her tile.

  Why does she feel so numb? Why isn't she hissing in pain from the harm she's doing to herself? 

  These questions run in her head as she presses on her flesh to make more of her blood to gush out. 

  And, why isn't she stopping? 

  Knock, knock. 

  "Omi? Are you awake?" Jeno asks while knocking on the door. 

  The girl in question stays sitting still, no longer sobbing, tears no longer falling and only, empty. 

  Hollow eyes stare at the wall in front of her blankly- thoughts empty and Jeno's words only pass through when her phone buzzes on the dresser. 

  "Omi?" he calls again but still, no answer. "I think, she's still asleep. She's not answering." 

  "Really? I guess, she'll have dinner later then," Renjun says- walking to the dining area with Jeno. 

  The latter sits down and stares at the food spread on the table. "Do you even think she's planning on having dinner? I mean, I haven't seen her eat much." 

  "Maybe, that's why she's always so tired," Jisung speaks. 

  Jaemin pokes his chopsticks in his food. "We've tried to make her eat, bought all her favourite food but she's still not eating. Why is that?" 

  "Don't tell me- Is she dieting?" Hyuck blurts in disbelief and the rest also, frown at the thought. 

  Chenle flips open his ramen cup's cover. "Why would she diet? For whAT?" 

  "Maybe, she feels insecure? Did she read something online?" Donghyuck brings up. 

  "She shouldn't listen to those," Jaemin points out and quickly stands- marching to her door and knocking. "Omi, wake up. It's time for dinner."

  He knocks again- still no response. 

  Haechan takes the lead with a worried Chenle beside him, knocking louder and after a short moment of silence, the door finally swings open. 

  Omi's outfit is already changed into yet, another baggy dress-shirt with overly long sleeves- concealing her cuts that are messily patched up with square bandages.

  But the rest take one look at her and are instantly silenced as their hearts clench at the sight of her pale self yet, eyes and nose are red while cheeks are shiny from the tear stains. 

  She suddenly, wraps her arms around the one standing closest to her, Chenle- suffocating herself in his chest, indulging in his warmth and gentle hold. 

  He's frozen in shock momentarily before reciprocating- laying his head on top of hers. 

  The others watch as their usually bright, lively, gift of wondrous and endless positivity breaks right in front of their own eyes. And in that moment, everything seemed dark. 

  Omi inhales shakily, hands clenching tightly on Chenle's shirt while her manager's words from the call earlier ring in her ears. 

  "Finally, you're awake. I just wanted to make sure you'll stay quiet. Plus, if you do say anything, the boys are only going to get worried and all this album plan will get ruined. Because, all they'd be doing is worry about you and try their best to take care of you. 
  "I'll get fired for sure, then. But, there's nothing money can't solve, right? Besides, you'll be affected too. Because, when the news is spilled, guess what the public will say? You're the only girl in a group of men- 21 men. Do you think they'll leave positive words for you? They'll be saying how much of a sl*t you are. Then, what will happen? You'll be kicked out and won't be able to be with your teammates again. Now, isn't that sad?" 

  Naomi clenched on her phone, bones on her wrist protruding from the exertion. 

  "So, if you want to stay, keep your mouth shut. Goodnight, sweetheart."

  Beep, beep, beep, beep. 

  Her hand dropped weakly and she leaned against the bed helplessly- feeling like her mind and chest were being ripped into pieces.