~*Superstar*~

~*Chapter 1*~

January 1994

-Lisa-

You got mail! From who I said taking the stack of envelopes from Andre. I don't know I just checked it and there is a whole bunch of it too he said plopping the mail on the bed. I shook my head looking through the envelopes before stopping on one from the Philadelphia County Correctional Facility. Who the hell is writing me from jail? Hey babe! Yeah, I said opening the letter to see who it was from.

Dear Lisa,

I know I am the last person you'd expect to hear from and I don't even know how to start this letter. There is so much I need to say to you and I don't even know if you are willing to hear me out. I just want you to know I never meant to hurt you the way I did. Things were never really easy for us to begin with but I made it worse by not telling you what was really going on with me on the inside. You would always tell me that I could talk to you about anything and that you'd always be there for me, yet I went and did the exact opposite of what you told me to do. I regret that decision every day that I wake up and look at this cell. All of my life I said I'd never end up in a box like my cousin, yet here I am. A 9x9 cell with people telling me when to eat, sleep, and shit, for what $350 dollars and a damn VCR! I am sure you heard from folks in the neighborhood what happened. Most of it is a lie and I hope that you will let me explain what really happened that night I was supposed to meet you. It was never my intention to stand you up and if I could turn back time, I'd been at your house right after we hung on that phone call.

I just got caught up in that fast life as they say and wanted to be so much like my older cousin that I followed in his footsteps and ended up in this cell. I guess I was the lucky one though I only ended up in a cell while he ended up in a pine box. They wouldn't even let me out to attend the funeral. That shit really hurt to know that I was locked up when he died. At the same time, it was probably a blessing that I was otherwise I'd probably buried next to him. The only thing that really helps me to get through is knowing that I still have you. At least I hope I still have you; we haven't spoken in so long that I don't even know if you even remember me or what we had back in the day.

I see you a star now with your group. One of the girls snuck me a copy of your tape and I must say Ms. Lopes you did your thang on there. Reminded me of all the times you'd put on little rap shows for me in the basement at my dad's house. He'd be like "bust a rap for us Mc Li"! I really miss those days of you and I being together not a care in the world. I always knew you would make it. You have that strength and tenacity that most don't have. I just hope the world is ready for the real Lisa Nicole Lopes!

Maybe when I get out of this hell hole for good, I could hopefully see you if that's okay. It's been a long time and I know you probably won't recognize me but I definitely want to see your beautiful face. Jet'aime Lisa and I fouled up, but I hope one day you can forgive me for the shit that went down.

Love Always,

Remi

I folded up the letter after reading it. After all this time she'd finally written me. I don't even know how she found me in Atlanta, but she did. When I left Philadelphia that night, she was supposed to come with me, but she stood me up. I waited for her for 2 hours before I just had to leave because the guys, I was rolling with wouldn't wait anymore. I couldn't figure out why she stood me up, we were close and things between us were good. So good we were moving to Atlanta together, to start our lives outside of Philadelphia. We were gonna start our careers and our family. We were open with each other from the very beginning about where our relationship was going. We agreed career's first, family second. I guess her demons were to strong and she chose them over me. It was two years before I even found out what happened to her. Her father told me when I went back to Philly to see family. I went looking for her ass cause she had some explaining to do and I wanted to hear it firsthand. He told me she got time for armed robbery and he thought she was going to do 15 years. Either way he said the she didn't want to talk to me said she was too embarrassed. She had nothing to be embarrassed about I was in love with her. Hell, I am still in love with her truth be told, but our time has passed I am with Andre now and we're engaged. What Remi and I had is a distant memory!