Serendipity ( Kim Taehyung)

Chapter 37

"You are going to hurt her"

Haneul stares at her mom seated at the end of her bed, watching her sighs for the third time already. She was surprised to see her at the door 10 minutes ago but also sarcastically applauded her bravery to come during the day. Her mother never really visited her during the day, and this is definitely a first.

"I have been hurting her my entire life, what difference would it make?"

"We have been hurting her", Hanuel corrected with a bitter laugh. "What have we done?"

Her mother turns to her, one hand gently massaging her legs as she offered her a small smile. "Let me tell her. I don't want her to hate you"

"Mom, she is going get really hurt. Do you know how bad it broke her when she learned Areum is adopted? For god sake, she has not spoken to Areum ever since that night. What makes you think she can take this blow?"

Her mother sighs again, her hands still massaging her legs despite the conflicted expression on her face. Haneul sees the overwhelming guilt and remorse on her mother's face, wondering if her mother has any idea how terribly Haru got hurt the last time.

"Mom, you forgot her birthday—didn't even celebrate it with her. When she wanted to share her good grades, did you even listen to her? When she was hospitalized a year ago due to a very bad food poisoning, were you there? I know I shouldn't lash on you, but were you for once, put any effort to check on her?"

Her mother is silent this time, her hands stopped massaging her legs.

"When she fainted due to stress and I was here bedridden—I had no idea, and she didn't tell me. You know who told me? Her best friend secretly told me for the sake of me knowing. She fainted, mom, in the middle of her own empty house and no one was there. Oh god, I felt guilty, but I had no power to do anything. I count on her best friends to take care of her"

Haneul grips her bedsheets, holding the inner anger she has been holding all these months.

"When she had gotten the award for being at the top of her class in high school, were you there?", she scoffs bitterly. "Of course, not. Work, what else. When Haru got into college, I was still abroad with work and she had nobody to accompany her. While everyone had their parents or siblings, she had nobody. Do you know how hurtful it was to hear her share these stories while pretending to look unaffected as if she is fine ?"

"I know...", her mother says weakly, head hanging low with glassy eyes staring at the cold floor. "I am a bad mother"

Haneul feels her body shuddering with all the anger she had kept to herself, wondering where it suddenly came from. She was fine when her mother arrived a whole ago but the topic of revealing the secret triggered her. She has spent countless days staring at the windows of her room, pondering about Haru's feelings.

How could her mother just casually said she wants to tell Haru everything? Just like that? As if the damage done is not enough.

"But if I don't say anything, it will be unfair for her"

And that is the bitter truth. Keeping the secret buried in the minds of those who knew sounds like a better, safer option. But that means they are being completely selfish. Playing safe not to hurt themselves yet Haru is still in the dark.

"Mom, I am scared. I can't bear to see her cry again", Haneul sighs softly, folding her legs as she sits up right on the bed. "She looks happier now, do you know that? She has someone now. And to be honest, I have never seen her this happy"