Chapter 42

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Taehyung throws his phone to the side when his call got to her voicemail box for the 30th time that night. He has been trying to call Haru but to no avail. He texted her but received no reply at all. Everyone has been trying to call her and none of them got to reach her.


"God damn it Tae", he hits the empty seat beside him, holding in the anger. "You really messed up".


"Hey"


Seokjin's voice made him look up, and immediately his brother gives him a cup of warm drink gesturing him to take it.


"It's very late", Seokjin takes the seat beside him. "Go home"


"Hyung—"


"I know", Seokjin cuts him off, nodding knowingly. "We will find her. I informed her friends, and they are trying their best to reach her. So, please, don't torture yourself".


He stares into the empty space, breathing in and out slowly yet heavily. There are just too many things going in his head till it feels like he might explode any second. But the most apparent is the anger towards himself.


Every time he remembers the disheartened look Haru gave him, it felt like someone just poked his heart with the sharpest needle. Or maybe a knife. Either way, it pains him. His heart feel like it is being crushed bit by bit as he recalls how disappointed she looked earlier.





"Don't touch me"





When she said that to him, he swore with his entire existence it felt like she hated him. Will he ever recover if Haru really hates him? Will she really hate him?


It never crossed his mind to make her look pitiful in his eyes. Everything he did was to make her happy and nothing else. He may have known the truth about Haneul earlier, but it doesn't change the way he treats her.


All he wanted to do is to make her happy.


But it turns out, he could have done better. Maybe it was better to talk about it to her. Things might not end up like this if he had been honest to her. He could have been with her right now, holding her in his arms as he comforts her. It could have been easier if only he thought it through.


"Tae", his brother taps on his thigh. "Stop blaming yourself"


"How can I not?"


"You know it's not your fault", Seokjin sighs silently, glancing at his brother. "She doesn't hate you, Tae"


Taehyung groans lowly as he looks down at the floor, trying to calm himself. It is his fault. He did her wrong and he broke the trust she has for him. Why did not he think about this thoroughly. Haru has every right to be mad and disappointed. 


Wouldn't he feel the same if that happens to him?


"I hurt her, hyung"


"We all did", Seokjin sighs audibly. "Not just you"


"I want to be with her—but I don't know where she is", his voice trembles, unable to control him overwhelming emotions. "I just want to be with her"


"I know", he pats Taehyung's shoulder, pressing it gently. "You know what else I know?"


"What?"


"As much as Haru said she doesn't want to see you, I know she needs you the most right now"


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