Statehouse Headcanons

u h , shopping y'know

kinda messy

=====

- I've said this before, but DC, Florida, New York, and Cali are usually the ones who go shopping together, and that still stands

But just for the sake of the rest of this chapter, sometimes some other states accompany them

- Also someone mentioned that Cali likes to sit in the shopping cart and read, and- yes-

- Florida and Louisiana are constantly asking DC or Texas if they can buy something not on the list like chocolate, anything from the bakery, or alcohol

like, 9 times outta ten DC will say no, but the others usually help them sneak in something small by hiding it next to Cali

- One day when they were driving home from the store, DC just goes "oh my god, we forgot the eggs", and just as they're about to turn around Florida just shakes his sleeve and like a good 9 eggs roll out

- Florida has way to much fun in the light sections of Home Depot

- Every time they leave a store, at least someone has to ask if they can go get fast food
Again, DC usually says no

- Since DC is busy sometimes, he usually gets the the other 4 to go shop together since they can somewhat stay in line

However, DC definitely does not trust certain states to go alone together shopping, not because he's mean, he's just learned from experience to just not

He didn't need to test out anything to not trust Loui and Florida

Nevada, Colorado, and Washington were given a chance, but everyone at the house got pretty concern after 5 hours had past and none of them had gotten back yet. Turns out they got lost
When Texas went to pick them up, Washington was clenching his phone and shaking, Nevada was confused, and Colorado was crying

Alaska and Hawai'i are the equivalent of "if you asked two 12 year olds to go shopping for groceries" but sneakier
They got everything on the list, but also subtly carried an extra bag to their room
They were only found out because they forgot to carry the bag to their room one time, and Florida found it

Maryland, PA, and Mass honestly did pretty well, but PA accidental got themselves banned out of the store
DC tried to get them to confess how that even happened, but none of them fessed up

...............

Florida: Texas Texas, I found something for you

Texas: Florida leave me alone-

Florida *places a new cowboy hat on his head* :)

Texas:

Texas: Hey DC-

DC: No

...............

DC:

California: *points at a book he sees*

DC: Cali no

California: :(

New York:

New York: *takes the book and gives it to Cali when DC isn't looking*

...............

Florida: Dude, you're telling me this is the milk section?

California: Yeah? Why?

Florida: Goddamn my dad is blind it's been 200 years and he still hasn't found it

The other 4: *concern*

New York: You okay bud?

...............

Texas: Y'know, we should go to what-a-burger

DC: We don't have those on the east coast, Texas (let's just assume the statehouse is in DC)

California: In-N-Out?

DC: No?

Texas: What kind of hell is this?

...............

DC: *doesn't let them get fast food*

Texas: *is driving*

Texas:

Texas: *U turns into a McDonald's*

Everyone not DC: :DDDD

DC: nO STOP-

...............

DC is that rat that turns into the McDonald's drive-thru, orders a black coffee, and drives away with everyone crying in the car