Statehouse Headcanons

back to incorrect quotes

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California: *dramatically enters the living room thinking no one is home*

California: it is with a heavy heart and great disappointment that I must announce that I am still attracted to men

New York:

New York: are you coming out?

California: wHAT THE FUCK-

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Missouri: *calling Iowa* I pushed Kansas into the pool and I think he's isn't waterproof

Iowa: what?

Ohio: I think he means that he's drowning

Iowa: oh alright

Iowa:

Iowa: WAIT KANSAS WHAT-

(give homeboy a break he's right in the center of the country)
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Colorado: What if...I brought a knife into therapy?

Utah: *gently taking away the knife* You'd be arrest Coco, so let's not do that

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Ohio: Can we please stay in your room?

Pennsylvania: What why?

Michigan: Illinois played with a ouija board and cursed ours

Indiana: Wisconsin doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells "does this look like a hotel to you?!"

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Florida: I'm just saying, next time I'm gonna get you

Louisiana: I'm just saying I beat you twice

Florida: The first time was a tie!

Louisiana: And the second time?

Florida: No witnesses, you can't prove anything

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Indiana: We're going mattress shopping

Alabama: You know once we get it, we'll have to just break it again

Ohio: Oh I hear what you're saying..

Indiana: Mattress trampoline :D

Alabama:

Ohio:

Indiana: Wait were you talking about sex?-

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Hawai'i: Anyone over 5"3 does not deserve happiness

Hawai'i: Except for Alaska, he deserves the world and more

Alaska: :)

Texas: >:(

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California: I like that we say "oh man" to express disappointment

California: because men are often pretty disappointing

California: *looks at Texas*

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