Statehouse Headcanons

gAmE niGhT (monopoly)

I'm writing this on the bus what has my life come to
=========

- There's a reason everyone tends to stay away from this game on game nights

It ends worse than Uno

- DC usually dips out early if he's playing or doesn't play at all because he is scared

California has one single property that he cares about and that is the boardwalk

It's the only property he will spent money on, and he always gets hotels on it, basically bankrupting anyone who lands on it

Florida admires the chaos effort

- There is also basically a race for who can buy the boardwalk first

Basically everyone tries to get it to stop California from fucking them over, but New York and him have genuinely thrown hands over it

Not in a serious way, but York's definitely tackled Cali to stop him from adding another hotel

- Texas owns too many of the railroads it annoys the hell out of everyone else

- Since there aren't enough characters for everyone to play, they just steal from other games they own

We don't know why there's a candy land character here but we don't question it

- A small country popped up in the middle of the board named "The Communist Union of The Weast"

The members consist of Colorado, New York, Ohio, Alaska, and Rhode Island

If it wasn't clear Colorado is the one who founded it, and his only rule is "No bottoms"and no one was brave enough to state the obvious

They just dance in the middle of the board and occasionally go and kick other states houses around

- Texas keeps screaming at everyone because "SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKING HOUSE AGAIN!" and no one wants to give him his houses back

He's just started blaming the communist country without proof

Unbeknownst to him, Florida is simply eating them

- Utah is trying to keep the game as calm as possible. It's not working as well as he hoped

.............................

Texas: Gee, I got so much money! Everyone is paying me, this is great!
Texas: *lands on the boardwalk*
Texas:
California and their 3 hotels: :)
Texas: No.
California: Yes.

———

*general chaos*

Coco and the others, dancing in a circle: ooga chaka ooga chaka

———

Louisiana: Mais sha I gotta question
Florida: Yeah what's up?
Louisiana, whispering: Are you eating Tex's houses?
Florida:
Louisiana:
Louisiana: Florida those are plastic.
Florida: My stomach hurts
Louisiana: wha- floRIDA-

.............................

Poor Loui