Statehouse Headcanons

the one and only; florida man

HA, i got wifi >:)
not sure how it'll last, but it's here for now
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- he likes tea, specifically manzanilla

he wouldn't be a southerner if he didn't like tea! at least that's what all the southern states would say

- along with not liking mountains in general, he is also scared of heights

he may act tough at first. say by some chance he actually gets on a mountain. maybe for some thirty minutes he'd be able to hide his panic(if he doesn't look over the edge), but after that he's done. he goes to hide out with loui until they can leave, and if loui's not there, he just sticks as close to the ground as possible for comfort and shoos away any state teasing him

- his entire playlist is either once popular pop culture songs (7 rings, thank u, next, uuuuh other pop culture songs-), or sad songs that he listens to in public with a straight face

and of course there's also spanish party songs, but those are reserved for parties only,,,usually

- he always carries two markers on him, one for him and one for loui

just in case anyone feels brave enough to fall sleep next to them

- along with markers, he also always has a lighter. because you know, of course he does. why wouldn't he

- he's best at painting landscape, he can paint people too, but his expertise is in scenery

- he's constantly very anemic

he didn't particularly understand why he saw colors when he stood up too fast, but he found(and still finds) it very cool. a free light show if you will

it wasn't until recently that he was at a states meeting and jumped out of his seat so fast he ended up falling over that he told someone. to which they told him he probably has anemia, and that he should get that checked out. of course, that never happened

- say what you will about his health, he has least one orange a day. it may be the bare minimum, but he's doing it. and it's probably healthier than whatever Gov is doing-

- so fidget toys right

i don't know if slinkies count, but if they do, he has ten and he is extremely entertained by all of them

- he can cook to a small degree. he's definitely better at it if forced to work alone, but he can make some pretty good caribbean dishes

put him with anyone else though and it's war. nothing good is coming out of that kitchen. unless he's working with loui, because he's the only one who can get florida to not mess with whatever he's cooking. in other words, loui does the cooking, and florida is the little kid helping his mom cook by giving him ingredients and watching

it's a very cute sight

- he cares about food textures a lot

does not matter if it is the best food in the world, if the texture is icky he hates it and will never try it again

this once happened with loui's food and he actually felt really bad about it

there was also definitely an instance where he was just refusing to have something for that very reason, and someone says something along the lines of "what are you? five? just the eat damn food" aaaand a food fight starts. he felt very accomplished by the end of it

- along with his gators, he has had a pet duck and chicken

this is loosely based on an old headcanon i thought of with a friend, but i feel like he'd like ducks, and chickens by association

the chicken's name is pepino and the duck's name is pahco (both inspired by family pets who had the same names)

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i feel like i can somewhat confidently say i'd marry a florida man, and i couldn't tell ya if i'm proud of that or not. liiike depending on the crime they kinda-