Statehouse Headcanons

state ramblings

just small little ideas :)

also !disclaimer! brief mention of alcohol
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cali has a short temper but doesn't have mass-like outbursts
maryland keeps his anger bottled up to an unhealthy degree
mass blows up whenever he can, too much in fact

washington quietly panics if a voice is raised at him

kansas is the type to say "hey friend!" when greeting someone he's relatively close to

utah gossips to the rest of the west about whatever is going on in his neighborhood (as I assume he'd live in the suburbs with his family)

iowa hates reptiles. he just absolutely cannot stand them. seeing a gator would probably give him a heart attack on the spot, he hates em. i.e. why he was so scared by that proposition florida brought up in the "make america florida" sketch

california collects seashells, and has a not-so-magic conch shell

montana likes antique shopping

the midwest get along best if they are all drunk

nevada is incredibly good at getting lost. he's just got an awful sense of direction, and just spaces out too much for his own good. so he never means to wander off, but he doesn't complain much when he does. he can wander his way back probably. and when he can't, utah or some other neighboring state will go and drag him back to where he was

florida on the other hand will just confidently walk into an unknown area and hope for the best. and since his sense of direction isn't any better than nevada's it'll likely end with loui dragging him back out into the open

alaska's got the worst stage fright. he simply can't do it or he will shut down

IDC played animal crossing during a meeting before

new york likes knitting, and is pretty good at it. he gave cali a little hat to put on his cat

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i personally like simpler headcanons