Carlo

Chapter 7

"Momma!" Carlo shouts as we walk through the doors of the huge mansion.

A lady with light brown hair and the same gorgeous green eyes as Carlo comes walking out of a room, with a small smile on her face.

Her smile only gets brighter when she notices me. She spreads her arms open and wraps them around me. I freeze up but slowly wrap my arms around her too.

"I'm Rose, you must be Adelaide" She says when she pulls back. "You're very pretty"

You know she's lying Adelaide. Don't kid yourself, you're nothing special

I smile back at her "Thank you"

She looks at Carlo and squeals. I raise my eyebrows and Carlo kisses his mom's cheek.

"I'm going to show her, her room" Carlo mumbles as I grab my bags before he can take them.

He furrows his eyebrows and takes them back before walking away up a set of stairs. I run after him and walk beside him looking around the house. I grab the bag he's holding with his bad side.

"Don't." He warns and tries to grab it back. I put it into my other hand and he glares at me.

"What room's that?" I question, changing the subject.

"The gym" He points to a door as we walk past it. "You can go whenever you want"

I nod my head and we take a right corner to a hallway which only has two doors down the small corridor. One on either side.

"Your one" He points to the left door "Mine" He points to the one on the right.

I open the door to my new room and walk inside. My eyes go straight to the balcony and the piano in the corner of the room. I look over at the large sized bed and the huge walk in closet. I open a second door and see the huge bathroom.

When I walk back into the room Carlo is leaning against the door frame. "Do you want anything to eat?" He asks.

Don't even think about it!

"No, I'm okay. Thank you though"

He nods his head slowly "It's getting late you should go to sleep"

I play with the ends of the jacket. "Thank you...again"

He smiles softly at me before closing the door.

I look at the alarm clock next to the bed.

11:34

I look back at my bags and decide that I'll unpack tomorrow. I grab a pair of grey shorts and an oversized shirt. I put them on and climb into bed. I close my eyes and let myself drift asleep.

****

Flashback:

"You look like your mother, you know. She was an ugly slut too" Santiago yanks my head back by my hair so my face is mere inches away from his.

I whimper in pain and he punches my jaw twice with his hand still gripping my hair.

"You are just a disappointment and should only be used" he pushes me onto his bed face down.

I listen to how his belt falls to the ground.

"Pl-please stop. You- you have to stop" I sob.

His dark chuckle echoes around his room and he pulls my pants and underwear down.

I try to squirm away but his hand finds my hair again and he pulls it back so much my face lifts up.

That's when I feel it. The excruciating pain coursing through my lower half. I let out a painful scream.

The pain moves in and out until I feel nothing and I become limp. My fights become slower until I lay still with his hand in my hair and all that can be heard is my painful breathing and his grunts of pleasure.

End of flashback.

****

I jolt up and look around the room trying to figure out where I am. I rub my hand on my forehead before remembering where I live now.

I shouldn't have gone to sleep.

I climb out of bed and go into the bathroom. I turn the shower on and strip naked not waiting for the water to heat up. I get into the cold water and try to scrub the feeling of the hands on me and where I remember him touching me. I scrub my hair with my fingers and get the feeling of wanting to cry.

I haven't had that feeling in a long time and I just want to break down but nothing comes out.

I wash the soap buds off me and sit at the bottom of the shower, I lean my head back and let the now warm water fall onto my face.

I hug my knees and remember the other times it happened. Two was when I was in the dark room and I didn't know who the people were or even if it was the same person.

Then two were my father.

****

I shake my head and get out of the shower leaving the water running. I look through the draws and cabinets under the sink until I come across razors.

I take them apart so I can get the blade and put it under the water quickly before applying pressure to the side of my ribs.

I keep it up until I feel somewhat okay. With my sides dripping with blood I get back into the shower and slide down the wall letting the familiar sting burn through my body until I don't feel it anymore.

I take a few deep breaths, my sides have turned scarlet red and I feel my ordinary numbness wash over me. I feel my eyes glass over with nothing.

I got my distraction, for one moment I didn't have to feel the pain. It was just me and the razor going into my skin, the blood dripping down me.

I didn't have to think about how alone I am or how ugly and fat I am. I didn't have to listen to the voices in my head.

But did it work?

Not for long. That's the addictive part of cutting. When everything goes back to normal, the feelings you thought you had hidden comes back a little more than last time.

So you do it a little harder next time in hopes it will go for longer.

****

I get out of the shower and dry myself off. I wrap a bandage around my ribs and sides before putting a grey tank top that clings to my body. I put on a pair of black shorts as well, I tie my shoelaces up and my hair into a bun.

I look at the clock and it's already 3 in the morning.

I open my door quietly before stepping out and closing it behind me. I walk down the hallways until I get to the gym.

I slip through the door and turn the light on. I walk over to the punching bags and I don't bother wrapping my hands up. I just get straight to it.