Carlo

Chapter 35

Dear Journal,

I've become very fond of the color green lately. But it's a very certain green. A certain green that can only be found if you look at him.

They are a breathtaking green and I cannot help but always get lost in the brightness. His eyes have depths in the soul of nature, they are one with the world and all its wonders.

They give me a feel of freedom, as staring into them is like grasping a breath of fresh air one can only get standing in a forest full of life.

The specks of glow in his eyes remind me of rainy days and strange lakes.

They make me feel safe. That is why the color green has become my favourite color.

Because the guy those green eyes belong to has made me feel the safest I have felt in a long time and I don't want that to go away.

Not just yet. Not ever.

Amore, xx

"You're growing on him you know?"

I turn around to see Alessia leaning against the sliding doors of the balcony.

"I am?" I question, looking back at the sunrise.

"Yep. It's adorable watching him get flustered." She chuckles.

I laugh with her and light a cigarette. I close my eyes and tilt my head up slightly, as I lean on my forearms against the railing of the balcony and blow the smoke out.

"The real question is. Is he growing on you?" Alessia questions as she comes to stand next to me.

I open one eye and look at her,

Is he? "Yeah." I whisper quietly.

"You're scared?"

I nod my head and open both eyes to look at the view.

"Don't be. You're a teenager, it's normal to grow feelings for someone." Alessia reasons.

"Yeah." I sigh. "But I'm not living like a teenager."

"You've been through a lot. I can tell." She says leaning on the railing next to me. "I see the slight flinches, the hurt in your eyes before you mask over it, the zoning out. I've noticed all that in less than a day."

I hang my head down at her words. It's not supposed to be that easy to notice.

"But then I also saw the way you calmed down with Carlo. You don't flinch so much at his touch."

I look back up at her my eyes watering. "My body belonged to others before I even got to know it." I whisper.

She smiles lightly at me as her eyes start to glisten. "So did mine." She whispers back, her voice cracking a little.

"Does it get better?" I ask, facing the sunrise once more.

"Yeah. Giovanni helped me the best he could, but you can't depend on certain people to help you. That's up to you. And you alone. Carlo can just be there to keep you set on your recovery path."

"Of course I will be there." A husky voice sounds behind us.

I turn around to see Carlo walking towards us. "Why are you awake?" I question, since it's around 5:30 in the morning.

Carlo rubs his eyes tiredly. "You weren't there." He mumbles quietly as if he is embarrassed.

Alessia laughs and walks up to him kissing him on the cheek before giving me a slight nod. "I'll see you two later." She says, before walking back into the house and closing the door behind her.

I turn back around to look over the railing and a pair of arms gets placed around me onto the railing and grips it tightly.

Carlo moves his body against my back and I feel his warmth radiating off of him. He places his head on my left shoulder and kisses my neck lightly.

My body flushes hot and I try to keep my breathing under control.

"Did you sleep?" He whispers in my ear.

"A little." I answer honestly. I've been out on the balcony for hours not feeling sleepy.

"Do you want to try and sleep some more?"

"I'm okay." I whisper, and shiver as a gust of wind blows against my face.

Carlo spins me around so my back is now pressed up against the railing and I'm facing him. I tilt my head upwards so I can look at him as he looks down at me.

"We're going to the beach today. All of us." He mumbles, his hands wrapping around my waist and rubbing small circles on it.

I nod my head and he leans down a little so he's face to face with me. His eyes flicker to my lips and he pecks them four times before pulling away and looking at me.

"I like doing that." His smile only growing.

I shake my head mockingly and laugh.

"I'm going to go shower." He whispers, kissing my nose.

"Can I join you?" I ask, making my voice sound serious.

Carlo moves back a little and stares at me, his eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"I'm only joking. Calm down." I pat his chest as I walk past him to go inside.

"It's not nice to tease Amore!" He shouts as I laugh closing the door.

****

Cover up.

"No. I look okay." I whisper to myself, as I look into the mirror side on.

The black bikini I'm wearing is obviously showing off all of my scars and I'm becoming self conscious the more I stare at myself.

I grab a buttoned blouse and throw it on quickly, pulling up a pair of grey booty shorts.

"Adelaide! Let me in!" Carlo whines on the other side of the bedroom door for the seventh time.

"Just a second!"

"Please!" He begs, knocking on the door repeatedly. I roll my eyes and ignore him as I hear something slide against the door.

I open the door wide open and Carlo falls backwards, his head at my feet as he stares up at me. "Ouch." He mumbles.

"You look pretty." He whispers, before standing up and looking down at me.

"Thanks." I mumble and start to pick at my nails.

Carlo kisses my nose and takes my hand in his, he walks over to my bed dragging me behind him and lays down bringing me with him. I fall next to him and he holds me tightly. "The others are going to be here soon." I try to say.

Carlo places a finger over my lips. "Shh" he whispers and starts to close his eyes. I bite his finger lightly and he snaps his eyes open.

I smile at him and notice how his eyes darken a little. "Don't shush me." I shrug.

He rolls his eyes and smiles lightly before closing his eyes again and pulling me closer to him.