Ink Stains (MCYT Oneshots)

Fading Friend (Tubbo-centric)

(A/N: Tubbo's side on the 'lose a friend'. happy 101 chapters, feel more pain because i can't bring myself to do any requests today. If u insult or bash tubbo in this i will shake you like a penny
also the photo above is not the 'request', it's actually a question to the two requesters, because I genuinely can't tell which chapter '12' (for the first one) or which 6 or 17 (second) you're referring to so if you could like,,, clear it up for me that'd be great :3 more so of the first one than the second one but y'know)

I lost a friend
Like keys in a sofa
Like a wallet in the back seat
Like ice in the summer heat

In hindsight, Tubbo should've probably known that Tommy would take it to heart.

Recently, he hadn't been spending as much time with his best friend as he should. And it tugged at him, it really did; Tubbo had always had Tommy right beside him, and while he grew accustomed to it during the wars and his presidency, and all that followed after, they'd still tried to spend as much time with each other as possible, all-too familiar with how life could tug them apart without any notice.

But Tubbo had been busy. He'd wanted Michael's first birthday gift to be something special, so he'd spent hours searching for it. He had been teaching Ranboo how to bake cakes, so he could give it to Niki as thanks.

And that was no excuse, he knew. They were valid, sure, but Tubbo had forgotten to let Tommy know both times, and while his actions were excusable, his lack of communication with Tommy wasn't. But he'd been pent up with stress and anger from dealing with Quackity, and sometimes Tommy's boundless energy was just too much for him to deal with.

(In the end, Tommy had always believed the best in everyone.)

At some point, it was bound to all fall apart.

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I'll be lying awake counting all the mistakes I've made
Replayin' fights
I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I lost a friend, I lost a friend

Tubbo woke up with a scream stuck in his throat, and desperate arms flying up to block his face.

Slowly, haltingly, he lowered his arms, staring around at the dark bedroom. Ranboo was sleeping next to him, sound asleep, and if Tubbo concentrated enough, he could also hear Michael's tiny snores from his bedroom just a room away.

With a sigh, he dragged his hand over his face, exhaustion weighing down, and yet fear of his nightmare returning halting his want to sleep.

He wasn't sure what had spurred this on. Was it the fight and ensuring make-up with Tommy yesterday, no matter how impossible it might seem? Was it just a random nightmare, coming to haunt him on a random day?

Tubbo didn't know, and he really didn't feel good enough to continue dwelling on it.

He was supposed to go meet Tommy today, but...

Tubbo swallowed his anxieties about leaving Tommy alone for the third time this week, sending off a message that he wouldn't be coming by today. His heart felt all stuttery and his movements were shaky, and Tubbo didn't want Tommy to see him like this, or else he'd get more concerned.

It'd be fine. They'd been friends for ages at this point. One more missed day wouldn't hurt.

I lost my mind, and nobody believes me
Say, "I know that he don't need me
'Cause he made a little too much money to be twenty and sad"

Tubbo liked his life, where it was.

He had a son and a husband and a best friend; he had people who cared about him, who wouldn't betray him and leave him to rot alone. He had a safe home — as safe as any home could get on a server like this — and slowly but surely, he was getting better when it came to his emotions.

It was peaceful, and even with something darker brewing in the horizon, Tubbo was content to prepare contingency plans and relax before the storm came along. He'd even started creating more nukes; two for Ranboo and Tommy each, as a last minute weapon for them to use. Armour for Michael, when the time came for him to need it.

His precious people had protected him all these years, it was only right he protected them too.

He had his life together now. Everything was fine.

I'm on the mend
Like I'm wearin' a neck brace
Like I'm sleepin' at my own place
Like I'm pullin' all the stitches out of my own face

Life got hard, sometimes. But Tubbo was nothing if not pragmatic.

Tubbo hadn't heard anything from Tommy in a week, so he decided to fit an outing with him in his schedule. Michael was recovering from his sickness, but was at risk to catch another one, so Tubbo bundled him in soft clothes. Ranboo was walking around with purple eyes again, so Tubbo dragged him back into the house and hugged him until he fell asleep.

It was like stitching, in a way. Stitching all the wounds back together, making sure everything would be fine.

(But he'd forgotten that, sometimes, stitching could leave loose threads behind.)

I'd apologize if I thought it might make a difference
Or make you listen
I'd apologize if it was black and white
But life is different
Just try to listen to me now

Tubbo tucked Michael into bed, and dragged Ranboo's prone form into their own bed. Then, with his husband and his son under their covers, he started tidying up the house, packing up the last things before the fully moved into the mansion.

As he did so, his eyes caught on the calendar hanging by the wall. Except, something was different, and when Tubbo looked closer to check at the date-

Oh, he realised, something heavy settling in his chest at that very moment, as he stared at the calendar, at the date marked with bright green and red circles.

Today was the anniversary of his and Tommy's bench's making.

An anniversary that he'd missed.

(Somewhere in the rainy night, a lonely boy sat at a bench, with nobody by his side.)

And I'll be fine without him
But all I do is write about him
How the hell did I lose a friend I never had?
Never had