Walk All Over You

Chapter Thirty-One

Nikki POV:

Trudging down the stairs with my hands in the pockets of my jeans, I stared blankly ahead. My thoughts were racing and it seemed as though for a second, I couldn't catch a break. I had been drinking continuously over the pass few days just to get a break, just to have a couple of hours where it didn't hurt to think, where I could feel free of any thoughts. Any thoughts especially about Suzie-Q. Today was different though, I had been put off my alcohol, even off of the drugs, no matter how much I craved for a buzz. I wanted to have a few moments where I could somehow discover what I was really thinking and feeling.

The image of Suzie-Q in just a towel crossed my speeding thoughts. She was absolutely and utterly perfect in my eyes, the way she spoke with the hint of shyness, the way she smiles that got me weak in the knees and my palms all sweaty, the bright blue eyes that I got lost in. She was the perfect girl for me. She had her centre of balance, she knew what she wanted and no matter how badly you were, she would still somehow treat you nicely. Her body wasn't slender and boney like Brandi's, Suzie-Q ate just the right amount to give her the mouth watering curves any man desired. Which I desired. Everything about her I desired, everything about her I loved with a burning passion.

But when I noticed the blue marks on her neck, shoulders and even collar bone, it felt like the world around me died. Even if she hated me, or we weren't talking, the sight of her was enough to make me smile, to make me realise what I did everything for. It made me realise what I was fighting for. Although with the sight off those blue marks, I felt like I had failed. It felt like for once, the hope that was left, had vanished. It was the feeling of losing her to another man. Perhaps that was my own fault, after all, I pushed her away. I practically sent her into the arms of another man.

Stopping at the last step, I clenched onto the railing to regain my posture. I wanted to yell out, I wanted to shove my fist through a wall. I was broken, I had always crushed on Suzie-Q, there had been a spark that lit up inside of me ever since I met her outside the apartment building, in a heap, all those years ago. I knew from the very beginning I wanted her, that I craved her, but I was too frightened to ruin everything, I was too frightened to hurt her. I didn't want my image to spoil such an innocent beauty, I wanted her all to myself, but I never quite had the guts to admit it to her and everybody that I loved her. I didn't even have the guts to admit it to myself.

I was stupid, a coward. Afraid to love, afraid that I could turn her into the monster that I am. Push her away, break her heart, leave her for months on end, I was afraid of it all. And now, it was too late. I admitted my love to her when it was too late, I screwed up, I treated her like shit. And until this very day, I still couldn't understand why I did it all. Maybe it was my drunken self thinking I was protecting her in that sense, but what I really was doing was tearing her apart. I was worse then the way Axl treated her years prior.

Hearing footsteps behind me, I shuffled aside and kept my position, waiting for them to pass through. Which they didn't.

Instead, they stopped directly beside me and reached into their jacket. It was Axl, he was looking quite pleased this morning, which only made me want to punch a wall twice as much. Even to wipe the smirk from his face personally.

"I believe this belongs to you." He states, holding the ring in between his fingers.

Gaping at him, I snatched it from his grasp. How did he end up with it? I hope Suzie-Q hadn't of had it, it would of made her hate me more.

"Thanks." I mutter, placing it into my pocket. Axl nodded his head before he started to climb down the stairs again, that was until he stopped and turned to me.

"You know Nikki, you really broke her heart didn't you?" He glares at me.

"Just as much as you did." I grind my teeth, my patience was very slim with the crimson haired singer. And with the thought of him draped around Suzie-Q, I could have beaten him yet again.

"I s'pose this time it's my turn to sew her heart back up eh? But I won't make the same mistake as you, I'm already on the way to capturing her heart again since last night and when I get her, that's when you've truly lost. She's gonna be mine Nikki, all mine." Axl taunts, his eyes were fierce and his lips had turned into a smug smile. He stunk of pride.

"Get the fuck away from me you little weasel." I warn, raising my fist. To which, Axl quickly left without another word.

Dropping down onto the step, my hands shook as I flowed them through my greasy hair. He was right, I had basically lost her. And to think he was the one who caused the marks on her neck, only made me furious. Axl was swimming in dangerous waters, he was trying to take away my girl. She was rightfully mine, was ever since day one. I just never completely claimed her.

Breathing in deeply, I closed my eyes. The day I had really pushed her buttons, the day I lost her, pulsed through my head.

You've lost me Nikki, for good. I wish I had never had fallen for you, I wish I never came on tour with you. No that all is an understatement. I wish I never had met you. Her words had cut me like a knife, they sunk and they hit me deep. Broke my own heart.

And to think I actually loved you. You just cause me pain. Her words hurt, but they were spoken with so much truth. It was a fact, all I seemed to do was hurt her. The one thing I love with all my heart, I treat like a bag of shit.

I hate you Nikki Sixx. Everything she had said to me shattered my heart to pieces, but out of the lot, this was what crushed me the most. Feeling a tear fall from my eye, I quickly wiped it away. It was true, the one woman I loved, hated my guts. And that was something strong enough, painful enough to make me cry. Suzie-Q was the only woman I cried over, she was the only one that meant more to me then my own life. Brandi was nothing, she was just someone I had easy, regular sex with. She was an easy target and originally she was there just to get Suzie-Q jealous, so that she would come back to me. It worked, but it sent Suzie-Q into the wrong direction.

I needed to somehow talk to Suzie-Q, I needed to keep her from Axl. Completely forgetting the fact that she wasn't on talking terms to me, I decided to go talk to her, I abruptly got off of the stairs and quickly headed towards the restaurant. She had at least said a word to me this morning, I mean that meant something right? She was polite, wasn't rude, but obviously she still cared for me. That she didn't hate me completely right? Just as I turned the corner, I stopped instantly, almost tripping on my own two feet. Suzie-Q was sitting with Vince and Axl had leant down and kissed her. Shoving myself back against the wall, I gasped for a breath. It pained me so much to see her kiss another man. Her lips were only meant to be compressed against mine, I was meant to be the only man to leave a trail of love bites upon her neck, I was the only man who was meant to make her smile, meant to have her body against mine. I was the only man meant to have her underneath me, panting and moaning from pleasure, the only mans' name she would cry out. I was the only man who truly loved her, she was meant to be with me.

I wasn't going to let her slip away easily, I wasn't going to let Axl take her from me, at least not without a fight. I was going to claim what was truly mine, even if it would take me an eternity. Suzie-Q, you are mine.