Walk All Over You

Chapter Sixty-One

The paranoia thoughts continued to rush through my mind. The 'what-if's'. What if Suzie-Q wouldn't make it? The thought of losing her had my stomach in painful knots and my brain aching. My heart rate hadn't seemed to have lowered and the longer I sat in the corridor in silence, the more I could hear the echo of it pounding in my ears.
I was scared. Terrified that there was a risky chance that she couldn't be saved. Then what? What was I suppose to do? She was what helped me make sense of the world, no matter how much I managed to fuck up both of our lives.

I was leant up against the wall, my knees up to my chest as I stared forwards towards the locked door. I had no idea to what was going on behind the door, even the curtains had been ripped shut, blinding me from everything that was going on in the room. Inhaling deeply, I clenched my jaw shut and exhaled through my nose. I felt miserable, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move, I couldn't even talk, I could only sit there. That's it. And I wasn't going anywhere until I heard anything in regards of Suzie-Q.

The only things that were spoken about was when they rushed Suzie-Q on the stretcher down the hall as they interrogated me on what happened. Another question was the type of drug used and the amounts she used. That was it and nothing else was said, nothing but them shoving me out of the way and slamming the door in my face. With the state that she was in and with how the doctors reacted, it was scary to know that when the door finally opens that it won't be good news. That was my worst nightmare, what I was fretting about the most.

Biting the insides of my cheek, I could feel my urge to have a smoke, to relieve the stress and paranoia that surged through me. I was surely that out-of-it to even notice particular people approaching me.

"Hey man." The blonde patch of hair caught my eye as he leant down in front of me. He looked just as I felt on the inside, the amount of worrying seemed to have already taken a toll on Vince as it was. He looked like he had aged at least 10 years. "Anything?" He voice was hoarse as he lowered himself and sat beside me.

"No." I croak, not looking in Vince's direction.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Slash appeared in front of me, the look of sorrow in his eyes also. They must have all came at once. All worrying and waiting around to hear the news of Suzie-Q.

"Dunno Slash, Nik says there ain't been no news." Vince answers for me.

"I'm so sorry dude."

Now that voice in particular was enough to cause me to grit my teeth and look into his direction. More to one side stood both Izzy and Tommy. Izzy being the one who spoke, Tommy on the other hand was dead silent. Not a sound could be heard from him. I couldn't help but glare at them both, the anger boiling in my veins. It was their fault, their fault we were all in this situation. If it wasn't for their ecstasy addiction, Suzie-Q wouldn't have been in the hospital. Holding myself back from starting a fight, I kept my mouth shut and snapped my head from the pair.

"C'mon man, Suzie-Q is a strong chick. She ain't letting this get the best of her, you of all should know this." Duff admits, as much as I wanted it to, it didn't make me feel any better. Suzie-Q was a fighter, there was no doubt about it, but even the strongest of us aren't as strong as we hope. I acted strong, I kept all my issues and problems bottled up inside me. Everything but my fucking stupidity and arrogance.

Without looking, I could feel all of their eyes staring upon me. The more they all stared the angrier I seemed to have gotten and the more I needed fresh air away from it all. I needed a moment to breathe and be able to keep myself together.

"If there is any news, I'm the first to hear. Got it?!" I growl, mostly speaking to Vince beside me.

"Cross my heart." Vince returned. Quickly bouncing to my feet, I groggily sped pass all of the band members and outside. I hadn't of even noticed it was raining outside, the white noise it produced was enough to let me know. Leaning up against the pole by my side, I reached into my pockets to pull out a cigarette. The packet slipping from my fingers as I grabbed it out and of course falling to the ground into the puddle of rain water.