Walk All Over You

Chapter Eighteen

I dropped onto the bed in the compartment of the back of the bus. Too many thoughts swirling around in my head all at once. Why did I have a panic attack? Why was my dream something that was the cause to it? But more specifically why did Izzy Stradlin help me like he did?

Walking backwards like a crab on the bed, I sat against the bed board and cuddled the pillow as I stared out through the hallway to the front of the bus. I was baffled, I didn't know what to think and I didn't know why I was thinking like this. Maybe in such way I was a bit starstruck? God knows.

My eyes trailed up and down Nikki's body as he slowly approached me, his hand ruffling through his thick black hair and his lips peaking with a small smile. He was no longer wearing a shirt and the only clothing he really had on his body was a pair of white footy shorts.
From the right hand side of his chest and down his right arm, his tattoos stood out and on his nipple on the hand side he had his nipple pierced. Something that I always fantasised about getting.

"Why you hiding back here darlin'?" Nikki questions as soon as climbed onto the bed. Crawling closer and closer before he plumped down onto his back, staring up at me like a puppy.

"I dunno, just decided to come back and sit." I look down at him.

"You know, you really scared me shitless before. I had never seen anything like it, and in all honesty I thought we were going to lose you." Nikki glances up at me, his face soft and his green eyes glowing.

"I didn't know what was going on either. And I was terrified. Everything was closing in on me, even in my dream. I woke up with a hangover after one of the parties after the concert, there was people everywhere and the door kept moving and I couldn't get out. And I was calling your name and you wouldn't come; you were no where to be seen. I was so scared." I answer.

"Izzy said I had anxiety, that I had a panic attack." I add.

"Yeah that was what I was told. So what are you and Izzy now? Don't think I didn't see you hug him and kiss him." Nikki furrows his eyebrows.

"What do you mean? What are we now? We aren't anything, it was just simply saying thank you to him, he helped me through something that terrified me. Are you jealous?" I narrow my eyes at him, as he hopelessly stared up at me, looking unsure of what to say next.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I was simply asking what is he to you." Nikki answers about the minute of silence.

"Well I don't know what he is right now alright? I don't have a goddamn clue. Whys it got you so curious to what we are anyway?" I grumble, throwing the pillow off of me and going to get off of the bed.
Nikki gripped onto my wrist and tugged me back onto the bed. Within seconds he had me pinned against the bed, his body hovering above me as I stared at him.

"You really think I would be jealous?" Nikki cocked an eyebrow.

"Well then what are you so worried about with what goes on with me and Izzy?" I continued staring at him.

"I don't know." Nikki rolled his eyes and looked away for a moment. "Maybe I actually care for you." He looks back down at me.

"I know you care Nikki, and you always have which is why you're my bestfriend and I care about you also, I just don't get why you care so much about when I do something with someone to why I did it and to you, you suddenly criticise me and want to know why I did it and if there is something going on between myself and that person." I look away from Nikki, staring at the corner of the compartment. It was my life, I didn't need to be criticised with everything I did. I've watched him kiss, and even witnessed him have sex with many women, yeah I was mad because one it hurt like hell and two I didn't want to see that. But not once had I criticised him over it.

"I do not criticise." Nikki states.

"Yes you do! Why can't you leave it at whoever I like or want to do things with up to me and not question me on it?" I huff.

"Okay you want to know why huh?" Nikki snaps sounding frustrated.

"Yeah I do, tell me why!" I demand. Nikki grabs around of my chins and turns me to face him yet again.

"This is fucking why." Nikki mutters before he quickly leans in and compressed his lips against my own. Frozen in shock, Nikki's thumb strokes my cheek as he kissed me. His teeth gently bit my bottom lip wanting an entrance into my mouth. Nikki sure had me confused and frustrated, but with him doing this I couldn't help but melt against his lips.

Allowing his tongue to enter my mouth, I closed my eyes and grasped onto his thick hair, pulling him down closer. If what I was doing didn't convey to that I liked him and how much I did, I don't know what would.

The kiss hadn't lasted much longer, but did I wish it did. It felt like a firework had went off around me, this was something I had been waiting for, years I waited until this day. Maybe Nikki did feel the same about me after all, maybe it was finally my time to shine; this was all I ever wanted.

Nikki pulled away for a moment, staring me in the eyes, his green eyes gazing at me glistening.

"I-I, Suzie-Q I need to tell you something." Nikki smiled brightly down at me. I couldn't help but return the smile, this was it.

"Suzie-Q, I'm really-" Nikki stutters, his smile faltered as soon as what looked to be fear that emerged in his eyes. "Sorry."
Nikki looked away, before he completely removed himself from my body and left the compartment without a word.

It hurt, it hurt like hell.