Winterfalcon Oneshots | OhHelloFandoms123

91 | Stupid Boy

A/N: Originally on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33645514 / Word Count: 6k / Song: Stupid Boy by Keith Urban.

Sam and Bucky have their fair share of feeling stupid.

For Sam, it was a long time ago. September 2012.

It was when the clouds were open, the sky was blue and Riley...Riley was smiling like the morning sun. His greeting was warm and soft. His kisses made Sam feel butterflies. For years, they held each other peacefully and lovingly.

Riley's soft hair against his skin, his erupting laughter across the room. The way they'd stay up and drink and bathe in each other's embrace. The way they grew closer in the Air Force. Sam always told Riley he was so reckless, so endearing. So free.

Then, Riley fell. He fell and that was the biggest mistake of his life. Watching as his friend fell down to the earth, plummeting as Sam desperately scratched the air to save him. He screamed out into the world. He screamed until his lungs hurt. No one could hear him, his troubles were between him and God. Riley's body was burning. Burning alive as the flames licked the skies as he crashed and fell with clouded smoke. Sam crashed down with him and cried. Why couldn't he save him?

"Stupid..." he cradled Riley to his chest. Shot his dumbass out of the sky. "Stupid boy," he told the air. He wasn't sure if his words were aimed at him or Riley. Maybe both. He held him closer, trying to grasp and squeeze every second of this moment. The comms were static. His body was shaking. Riley was dead. The fact hasn't sunk in yet. He just cried until his lungs ached.

He went home after two months and cried again. He felt so stupid. Stupid boy. He gripped the steering wheel of his car and a song started playing. He chewed on his lip and thought of Riley, his friend. His partner.

'Well, she was precious like a flower

She grew wild but innocent'

Sarah. His sister. She was so strong, so wise. Her cooking was amazing. Oh, how he loved Sarah. The two of them grew up on Paul and Darlene and pretended to sail the ocean and travel the farthest seas when they were younger. How they both grew since their mother passed away.

God, how he's been through so much. If he could have Riley back, he would do anything. Sarah was his anchor, she was so kind. When he came home that night, he crashed and fell. He screamed and cried.

Sarah held him that night, as he fell apart in her arms.

"Sarah," he sobbed "am I so stupid?"

"No," she reassured "it's not your fault Riley died. It's not your fault, Sam. You're strong. You're a fighter."

His name was a scar on his body and soul. Riley. Oh, how he loved and cared for the dumbass. He clutched his bedsheets and prayed. The nightmares didn't stop for a while, for a long, long while.

Two weeks after that fiasco, he sat at the docks. His legs are just above the cold water. It was sunrise and the fresh air calmed him down. There was a song on the radio. It was the same one from two weeks ago. He gripped his hoodie and drained out his beer bottle. His eyes were too dry and his body was too tired to cry out anymore.

'A perfect prayer in a desperate hour

She was everything beautiful and different'

He wondered why this song kept playing when he felt stupid. Why didn't he save Riley? He had every chance to. I should have asked him out earlier. He hoped for the world for their future, now it has crumbled to ashes. The worst part is that he still loved him, like a needle pierced through his heart. He still loved him. He will always love him, his smile and his face.