Winterfalcon Oneshots | OhHelloFandoms123

51 | I Never Realised How Much I Needed You

WARNING: ANGST, SWEARING

Every moment they spent, timeless and open. Now it was gone, there was a feeling of emptiness and darkness overwhelming him, the tears bubblin in Sam's eyes when the realisation hit him: he needed Bucky. Maybe more than just a friend but he can't move on without him. He bites his lip as hot tears stream down his face. 

He looks down at the gleaming sheild, he sees his reflection. A sad, lonely version of himself was staring right at him. The night was cold in the streets, he wipes away his tears and gets up from the bench, holding the sheild with him.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save meThis all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

I need somebody to healSomebody to knowSomebody to have

Somebody to hold

It's easy to say

But it's never the sameI guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

He should never have shouted at Bucky, never have told him those awful things. His chest pounded, his body feeling weak. His heart was broken, he made a mistake. Sam swallowed thickly and he stopped at a lake. He watched couples side-by-side with fingers intertwined as they walked along the streets of the park. 

He looks up to the stars and takes a deep breath, he continues walking. He wants to break out into a run, run to catch up with Bucky who was walking away in the other direction, but he couldn't do it. He gripped the sheild tighter and continued walking.

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Thunder clapped as rain poured, he stood under the shelter, the tears coming faster, his breaths heavy. Bucky stopped in his tracks, for a moment he looked back. He lifted up his hood and continued walking, rain sloshing in his socks and his chest aching. Maybe, he wasn't good enough for Sam. He should have done better.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

Sam's heart was pounding, his gut telling him to go after Bucky, the other part of him says no. This time, he doesn't trust his gut. Bucky drenched in water once he found shelter to stand under, he ruffled up his hair and looked down at the puddles, at his reflection. Broken and damaged. Why would Sam even want him back? As a friend or a partner in crime? Or even a partner in life? He was right...just an experiment not worth knowing. Damaged and broken like his heart.

Now the day bleedsInto nightfallAnd you're not hereTo get me through it allI let my guard downAnd then you pulled the rugI was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Sam closed his eyes and turned a corner, his hands are shaking, reaching for his phone and opening his phone, trying to contact Bucky. His screensaver was him and Bucky making a funny face with Steve and Natasha. Sam smiled sadly and put his phone away as he began sobbing, clutching the sheild. He feels like failed Steve and Natasha. Failed Bucky.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

Bucky kicked a rock in anger, in guilt and grief. He gripped his hands tighter, he pulled out his phone and contacted Sharon. "Hey, Bucky," she greeted warmly, Bucky smiled, still sniffling. He coughed before speaking in a choked voice "h-hey, Sharon, can I-" Bucky paused and took a breath "can I stay at yours tonight?"

"Sure," Sharon replied, concerned "what happened?" Bucky shook his head and cried into his sleeve, blinking away tears that were falling, "I fucked up," he choked, tears falling faster "I fucked up big time, Sharon."

Sharon sighed "okay, you can tell me when you get to my place. Where are you? I'll pick you up."

For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Sam felt numb, waiting on the side for his Uber, for a ride home. He wiped away his tears and took a deeper breath. He looked the opposite direction and looked through all the muddled crowds and held the sheild close to him. He wondered where Bucky was. If he was safe or was home - or if– His gaze broke when his Uber pulled up. He looked towards his ride and to the other direction. He walked up to the car, "hey, excuse me I'm real sorry but, I have to cancel this ride." Sam told him and began running in the rain, searching for Bucky.

But now the day bleedsInto nightfallAnd you're not hereTo get me through it allI let my guard downAnd then you pulled the rugI was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

The rain sloshed in his clothing and he spotted Bucky getting in Sharon's car. "BUCKY!" he shouted, chasing after him, but it was too late. Bucky paused before getting into the car, staring Sam in the eye. Sam stepped closer but Bucky backed away. "I'm sorry," Sam mumbled. Bucky's eyes looked to the ground and shook his head. "Bye, Sam," he told him before getting in the car. 

It started driving away. Sam chased after it, as fast as he could screaming out Bucky's name. Bucky took one last look back to see Sam in the rain. He took a deep breath as Sharon gave him a sympathetic look.

I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Sam stood there, gave up and watching the car drive away. His breathing was heavy, the world was spinning, he lost Bucky. "I'm sorry," Sam choked before walking the opposite direction.

A/N: Do you want tissues?