I Love You So (Erwin Smith x Fem! Reader)

Chapter XII - Two Old Friends

{Long Chapter Ahead - 5,224 words}

- Year 840 -

Y/n, Hange - 25 years old

Nanaba, Moblit - 24 years old

Erwin, Nile, Vogel twins - 30 years old

Mike - 32 years old

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Being in the survey corps for six years made Y/n to become a scout veteran in the survey corps, along with her friends, Nanaba, Moblit, and Nanaba.

Y/n can't believe that she's still alive, even after going outside the walls, and fighting their giant enemies in their own domain, for how many times that she couldn't count already.

She doesn't know how many deaths have she seen already, how many of her subordinates died in vain, and how many ugly titans have she killed for the six years being in the scouts.

But she knows one thing...

She changed.

Not only her, but also her friends.

The cruel world changed them.

Who wouldn't changed when you have to keep seeing hell, brutal deaths, and hopeless situations?

Who wouldn't changed when you're always fighting but still keeps on being defeated by the enemies you've been fighting for a long time?

Who wouldn't changed when you're fighting to learn new things, but ends up learning nothing, and sadly let your fellow comrades died in vain?

You'll definitely change, it can either be a good or bad change. It depends on how tough life...has been for you.

But Y/n's neither the two, maybe she's in the middle? She changed in a good way, but can also be in a bad way. No one knows. But the young adult Y/n is now gone, she's now a real-time adult.

Y/n's now a woman in her early 20's.

In the past, Y/n used to smile a lot, giggle a lot, even joke around if she's really feeling happy, but she's only young back then...still naive about their world. She didn't realize yet how cruel it is to live in this walled place.

But after joining the survey corps, and witnessing hundreds gruesome things in their line of duty as scouts...

She finally knew...How cruel it is....

How cruel the world is...

How saddening it is that they don't have freedom...

How shitty it is to stay hiding behind these high walls for such a long time...

And how fucked up their world is...

Y/n don't smile, giggle not joke around that much anymore, she just thinks, what's there to smile, laugh and joke about...? Can she really be happy when she's seen a lot of shitty things?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

She can still have fun or choose not to. It depends on her, so Y/n chose...

Her happiness only depends on her and around the people she knows.

She will only laugh, smile, and joke around, only when she felt like doing so. She decided to not get attach to other peole anymore, because she knows that she or them are bound to die at anytime of anyday. So what's the use of making the people in her life a bigger group? She's contented.

Contented with her family, friends and...with a certain blond, blue-eyed man in her life. They're enough for her. She won't look for other people anymore and just treasure what she currently has in her life right now.